A New Start
by SeekHim
Summary: His relationship with the crew of the Enterprise was shattered forever when they betrayed him. Now James T. Kirk is ready to move on. Star Trek 2009 AU. Please review.
1. A Conversation

Disclaimer  
I'm not making a cent from this story.  
Kirk, Pike and McCoy all belong to Star Trek.  
The name _U.S.S. Saratoga_ is from Neferit's story, but everything about the ship's class/design I made up!

Acknowledgment  
Those of you who have read **Neferit's** works may have come across her _'This is the End'_ trilogy. In it Kirk  
is raped during shore leave. Instead of supporting him his crew, with the exception of Dr. McCoy, assumes  
that he was just fooling around and basically turn their backs on him. This betrayal added to the already  
devastating trauma of the rape leads Kirk to step down as captain of the _Enterprise. _Months later he accepts  
command of a different ship, the _U.S.S. Saratoga_.

When I read the series I was fascinated with the whole premise because it opened up a whole universe  
of new stories and possibilities. This story is my take on Kirk accepting his new command. I've written it  
with Neferit's kind permission.

Note  
If you fave or follow please leave feedback! I live for it!

GOD bless  
John 3:16

* * *

11/15/2258  
_Starfleet Headquarters  
Office of Admiral Christopher Pike_

Admiral Christopher Pike gave a reassuring smile to the young man sitting in front of him. "Well, Jim, are  
you ready to head back out?"

Captain James Tiberius Kirk nodded and took a deep breath. "Yes, Chris. I am."

"Do you have any preferences as to the type of posting?"

Kirk gave a slight smile."I definitely want a ship."

Pike gave a slight chuckle. "I expected as much." He looked down at his PADD. "We do have a couple of ships  
that need a new CO. First on the list is the _U.S.S. Triumph, Constitution_ class."

At the word '_Constitution_ class', Kirk flinched slightly. "There's something that I'd like to add, Chris," he said firmly.  
"I don't want _anything_ like my former posting. I want a fresh start with a clean slate and as few reminders as possible.  
That means no _Constitution_ class ship and preferably not a large one."

Leaning forward and looking into his mentor's eyes he continued. "What happened to me… two good things came  
out of it. Number one: I found out who my real friends were. Number two: I did some growing up. I don't need a  
large ship; as long as it's a ship I'm happy. I don't need to be out in deep space; just being in space is enough."  
He gave a mirthless smile. "Frankly, I'd be fine with a cargo ship."

Pike nodded thoughtfully. "I'll see what I can do, Jim. And I'm sure we can arrange something other than a cargo ship."


	2. Admirals Meeting

11/17/2268  
_Starfleet Headquarters_

Christopher Pike sat in a conference room with four other admirals: Juanita Estevez, Douglas Jones,  
Daniel Rosenberg and Joseph Mutekenga.

Jones started talking first. "So how did it go with Kirk, Chris? Did you offer him the _Triumph?"_

"He turned it down the second I mentioned it."

Jones frowned. "You could have tried a little harder to persuade him."

"Doug, he wants nothing to do with _Constitution_ class," Pike said firmly. "Or any large ship for that matter.  
And we all know why."

"Bad memories," Estevez said softly.

It was Hawkins' turn to frown "A the moment there aren't a lot of smaller ships that need a CO."

"What about the _U.S.S. Saber_?" Rosenberg suggested. "It's pretty small; crew of 300."

Pike shook his head. "The_ Saber_ is an escort vessel, intended for patrolling tense areas and fighting in  
the skirmishes that pop up now and then. Kirk may be a brilliant tactician but at heart he's an explorer.  
He joined Starfleet to explore space not fight in wars."

"There's the _U.S.S. Seagull_," Mutekenga put in. "Its captain's due for a promotion. C_ygnus_ class; scout  
and survey ship, 300 member crew. That would be a perfect fit for him."

"I thought so too," Pike said. "Unfortunately its CMO is married to its First Officer. Both Kirk and Dr. McCoy  
have made it plain that they're a package deal."

Estevez had been going over her PADD. "What about the _U.S.S. Saratoga_?," she said thoughtfully.  
"It's captain's retiring."

"Are you kidding?" Admiral Jones had an incredulous expression. "The _Saratoga_ is a _Delphis_ class!  
You want to give the man who once commanded the _Flagship_ something that's little more than a  
glorified shuttlepod?"

"It's hardly a shuttlepod, Doug," Estevez chided. "It's a science vessel."

"Exactly! At least scout ships explore and do reconnaissance. A research vessel conducts scientific  
experiments. Kirk is anything but a scientist, he'd be wasting his talents!

"On the contrary." Pike looked thoughtful. "I think that just might be a good fit. Kirk's been through a deep  
trauma and it's going to take a long time for him to heal. While he may be up to active duty again, he's not  
up to anything similar to his former posting. That means nothing fancy and taking things slow for awhile.  
A research vessel with short term, non threatening missions might be exactly what he needs."

"Fine," Jones snapped. "Let him have the _Saratoga_ if he wants it. But rest assured, Chris, there is no way  
he's staying there permanently. Kirk is one of the brightest stars of the 'Fleet and he's meant for bigger  
things then running stellar surveys or analyzing rock samples!"


	3. Acceptance

11/18/2258  
_Pike's Office_

"I think we've found just the ship for you, Jim." Pike handed Kirk a PADD. "The _U.S.S. Saratoga.  
_She's a research vessel; _Delphis_ class. Her main function is planetary and astronomical studies.  
As you requested, she's small with a crew of about 100. Missions are usually short term, a few  
months at the most. She's not a young ship, but she's not ancient either and has several more  
good years in her."

Kirk was silent, his eyes scanning the PADD.

"Eric Martell captained her from the time she was launched, thirteen years, ago," Pike continued.  
"His wife died recently and he decided to retire so as to spend more time with his daughter and  
grandchildren. Its current CMO is Dr. Paul Fieldstone. He's served aboard her for eight years but  
he's agreeable to a transfer."

Kirk still didn't say anything.

"The _Saratoga's _currently at Drydock undergoing some refits. She's scheduled to head back out  
in two months. If you want her she's yours."

Kirk slowly put the PADD down and looked up at Pike. "I'll take her," he said quietly.


	4. Another Conversation

12/20/2258  
_Starfleet Academy _  
_Office of Commander Pamela Dobson_

"Tuskaro Alyen and Shylea L'Naym. I'm sorry, I meant _Crewman_ Alyen and L'Naym." Commander  
Dobson smiled as gazed at the young Nlian couple sitting across from her. They were both trying  
to look composed but she could tell by their tightly held hands that they were nervous.

She thought back to the day, many years ago, when she had graduated from the Academy and had  
been anxiously waiting her first assignment. The couple in front of her were graduates of the Enlisted  
Training Program, but she knew that for them the excitement and apprehension were exactly the same.

"So, Crewmen, are you both ready for your first assignment?"

The lifemates both glanced at each other then nodded as they squeezed hands.

"Yes, Commander," L'Naym said with a smile that lit up both her large green eyes as well as her dark  
skinned face. "We are."

"Glad to hear it. Good news; you've both been assigned to a starship."

Alyen's blue eyes widened. "A starship? We thought that new crewmen were assigned to outposts  
or stations before being placed on ships."

"There've been a few changes lately." Dobson grew a bit more somber. "As I'm sure you're both  
aware, certain recent events have resulted in an atypical acceleration of assets. Enlisted personnel  
are included."

The lifemates both nodded solemnly recalling the horrible evens ten months previously; the destruction  
of Vulcan, the attack on Earth and the loss of nine Starfleet vessels.

Dobson continued. "In the wake of so many losses, Starfleet decided that promising graduates  
of the Training Program could be posted on ships right away. And apparently," she flashed them  
a smile, "your instructors liked what they saw in both of you."

The lifemates stared wide eyed at each other, joyful emotions passing between them through  
their Bond. This was so much more than they had hoped. To work on another world or on a  
Starbase would have been a great privilege. But to be on a starship... To be constantly traveling  
among the stars…

"You've both been assigned to the _U.S.S. Saratoga_," Commander Dobson was continuing. "It's a  
science vessel so there'll be plenty of work for a botanist and a medic. You're both to report to  
Commander Miles Hansen on the 27th at 0900 for some final instructions. And then on the 31st  
at 0800 hours you're to report to Shuttle 3 in Hangarbay 2."

She gave them another smile. "And on the _slight_ chance that you're nervous, you won't be the  
only new faces_;_ the _Saratoga's_ getting several other new crewmembers, including a new CO."

"A new captain?" L'Naym asked.

"That's correct. Her former CO, Eric Martell, has recently retired so she's getting a new one;  
James T. Kirk."

"Kirk?" Alyen asked."Isn't he the one who everyone's been talking about?"

"That's him; James T. Kirk, Hero of the Federation, youngest Captain of the Fleet. He's recently  
returned to active duty and has been assigned the _Saratoga_. You'll both get to see him sworn in."


	5. A Captains' Meeting

12/27/2258  
_Starfleet Headquarters_

"I know you're eager to get back in the harness, Jim," Pike explained as they walked out of his office.  
"But I also know how nervous you are. You're starting out easy; you've been assigned a six month tour  
of duty in the Alpha Quadrant. Pretty standard missions; astronomical surveys and planetary research,  
all well within Federation territory."

He paused. "And if you're worried about running into the _Enterprise_-don't be."

Kirk looked at him intently.

"Ambassador Spock and I had a few talks with the Admiralty," Pike continued. "The_ Enterprise_ will be  
spending most of her time in the Beta Quadrant. And the few times she _is_ the Alpha Quadrant, she  
won't be anywhere near you.

Kirk visibly relaxed. "Thank you, Chris."

As they stepped out into the hallway, Kirk noticed Dr. McCoy in conversation with an African American  
male in his late 50's.

The newcomer looked at Kirk and gave a warm smile. "Captain Kirk? Eric Martell. I hear you'll be  
manning the helm of my old ship from now on."

Kirk straightened "That's me, sir."

Martell's smile widened. "Call me Eric, I'm retired."

"Doctor McCoy?" Admiral Pike beckoned to the doctor. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

McCoy nodded. "Be back in a minute, Jim." He stepped into Pike's office leaving Kirk alone with Martell.

Martell turned back to Kirk. "You're getting a fine ship. I had her for thirteen incredible years. But its time  
for us to part ways." He paused "You're aware that my wife, Dorothy, passed away two months ago.

Kirk nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry."

"We were together for thirty years. The best thirty years of my life. One of the many things I learned  
during those years is that the time you have with your loved ones is a time that will never come back  
so you need to seize every second of it.

"Dorothy was at my side every day from the time we married. Our daughter, though, lived on Earth.  
_Delphis-_class ships don't usually go on extended missions, but we still didn't see her nearly as often  
as we would have liked. We always regretted not being there for the birth of our grandson; a priceless  
moment that we missed and that can never be regained."

He sighed "It was just after Dorothy was diagnosed that we learned that our second grandchild was  
on the way. She fought to stay alive long enough to see her come into the world; she wanted so badly  
to be there. But...she didn't make it. I promised her I'd be there for the birth and that's a promise that  
I intend to keep."

His smile retuned and he clapped a visibly moved kirk on the shoulder. "So no misty eyes. I may have  
lost my wife, but I still have my daughter, my grandson and a granddaughter on the way. And I intend  
to spend as much time with them as possible and not miss any more irretrievable moments. So no more  
off-world duty for the _Saratoga's_ old helmsman; it's time for her to get a new one."

He looked into Kirk's eyes. "And from what I've heard about you, Jim, I'd say she's getting a fine one."

"Thank you," Kirk said.

"Some of the crew have been with her from day one," Martell continued. "And a couple where with me  
on the _U.S.S. Tripoli_, where I served as First Officer. They'll help you learn your way around pretty quickly."

He looked at Kirk seriously. "The _Saratoga's_ a good ship, Jim. A good ship with a good crew and she'll  
never let you down."

_Never let me down. _Kirk thought._ I pray so. _

"Eric?"

Kirk looked up to see an African American woman in her mid 40's approaching.

Martell smiled. "Jim, this is Lieutenant Commander Joyce Filars, my…your Chief Engineer and 2nd Officer.  
She's been the Queen Bee of the _Saratoga's_ engine room for eight years. You'll be in good hands with her."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Filars said with a smile.

"Not flattery, just the truth." The two exchanged a firm hug before Martell withdrew. "I have another  
appointment I need to keep, Joyce. We'll talk again this evening."

He gave a final nod to Kirk. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Jim. Take good care of our girl."

"I'll do that," Kirk promised.

"Remember, she'll never let you down."

As Martell left, Kirk noticed Filars had tears forming in her eyes.

"You and Martell are close." It wasn't a question.

Filars nodded. "Very. He was a good friend as well as a good Captain. When he stepped down  
there were a lot of tears."

_There weren't any when I left the Enterprise_. Kirk thought bitterly. _On either side_.

"Guess I've got some big shoes to fill," he put in thoughtfully.

"No one can fill another person's shoes, Captain," Filars said in a quiet tone. "We each fill our own.  
Captain Martell made his own mark with the _Saratoga_ and you'll make yours." She smiled. "You've  
already made quite a mark with Starfleet. Not many Captains can claim to have saved the world."

"Don't let it go to his head," McCoy had stepped out of Pike's office.

Kirk grinned and clapped his old friend on the shoulder. "Well, Bones. I guess this means no turning  
back now. A few more days and its back out to the black."

"Yeah," McCoy muttered. " I'm _really_ looking forward to that."

Kirk grinned. "Not."


	6. First Meeting

12/27/2258  
_Starfleet Headquarters_

L'Naym clasped her lifemate's shoulder. "Beloved, look over there. That's Captain Kirk."

Alyen looked to where his lifemate was pointing. "It _is_ him. And that's Dr. McCoy with him."

L'Naym took his hand. "We have a few minutes before our appointment with Commander Hansen.  
Let's go greet them."

"They might be busy," Alyen said uncertainly

"They don't look busy," she countered. And indeed the two officers who sat on a bench weren't doing  
anything but chatting quietly.

"We're going to be serving under them so we should introduce ourselves," L'Naym pressed. "Besides,  
they've just been assigned to the _Saratoga_ themselves, so I doubt they know anyone yet. They'd probably  
appreciate a friendly greeting."

Alyen's gentle features took on an expression that was both thoughtful and sad. "The Captain will probably  
appreciate it even more considering everything that's happened to him."

"Captain Kirk?"

Kirk looked up to see a young couple standing beside him. Both were Nlian; slightly shorter than humans  
with larger ears and eyes. The woman had dark brown skin, long black hair and enormous green eyes that  
fairly glowed with warmth and cheer. The male was Caucasian in appearance with brown hair and gentle  
blue eyes.

The woman took the lead. "I'm Crewman L'Naym and this is my lifemate, Crewman Alyen. We've just been  
assigned to your ship, the _Saratoga."_

Kirk gave them a welcoming smile. "Well, let me be the first to welcome you both aboard."

"Actually, Captain, we wanted to welcome you." The woman's smile seemed to light up her whole face.  
"There's going to be a formal welcome ceremony when you come on board, but we thought that you might  
like an informal greeting as well."

The male spoke for the first time with a soft voice and a shy smile. "Welcome aboard, sir. We're both looking  
forward to serving with you."

Kirk's smile grew broader. "And I you, Crewmen."

Crewman Alyen looked over at Dr. McCoy. "Dr. McCoy? I understand that you're the new Chief Medical Officer.  
I'm a medical assistant and a paramedic, so I'll be part of your staff. I'm looking forward to serving with you  
as well."

McCoy gave one of his snorts. "We'll see how long you stay glad."

"Be nice, Bones," Kirk chided. He turned back to L'Naym "And what will _you_ be doing onboard the _Saratoga,_  
Crewman?"

She gave a merry chuckle. "Working with plants, sir. I'm a botanist."

"Crewmen Alyen and L'Naym." An officer had stepped out of an office carrying a PADD.

"That's us," L'Naym said brightly. As the two Nlians headed down the hallway toward their appointment,  
she glanced back one more time. "We'll see you both later, Captain. Doctor. And once again, welcome aboard."

Kirk smiled again and wondered what it was about these two crewmen that struck him.


	7. A New Ship

1/1/2259  
_Hangarbay 2_

As usual the massive hangar was a hive of activity. Shuttle crews preparing for departure, personnel  
comparing notes, supplies being loaded. Added to that was the hum and whir of machines and automatics.

James T. Kirk used to stride through such confusion with cocky confidence. But that was then and this was  
now. And he was glad that Bones was beside him.

"Captain," Ahead he saw Filars waiting for him by a tiny shuttle. She greeted him with a brisk nod and smile.  
"Welcome to the _High Tide_."

"_High Tide_." Kirk smiled. "I don't think I've heard a shuttle named that before."

"That's one of the quirks of _Delphis _class ships; they're always named after something associated with the sea  
and so are their shuttles. The _Saratoga_ has four regular shuttles: the _Cloudfront, _the _Fairwind_, the _Seaspice  
_and the_ Farshore. _It has a runabout for lengthy away missions: the _Waverider, _and…" she patted the side  
of the shuttle, "this little baby for ship to ship transfers: the _High Tide."_

"I think I'm getting seasick already," McCoy muttered.

Jim grinned and clapped his friend on the arm. "All aboard, Bones."

As the shuttle rose skyward, the sprawling metropolis of San Francisco fell away below. Brown and green land  
gave way to the vast blue expanse of the Pacific Ocean, which in turn surrendered to the darkness of space  
and thousands of stars.

"So, Captain, have you ever been on a _Delphis_ class ship before?" Filars asked.

"No. I've familiarized myself with the specifications, but this will be my first time on one."

"Then, if I may be so bold, you're in for treat. The _Saratoga's_ quite a ship."

_So was the Enterprise. _Kirk thought. He quickly shoved the thought aside. "I'm sure she is."

The _High Tide_ cleared the ionosphere and approached the immense orbiting facility that was Starfleet Spacedock.  
It slowed on its approach toward one of the ships docked.

"And there she is," Filars said with obvious affection. "The _U.S.S._ Saratoga. _Delphis_ class, nine decks, crew  
complement of 100. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts."

With a pang Kirk recalled the first time he'd seen the _Enterprise_. She had been beautiful, highlighted  
perfectly against the black of space, the sun flaring against her crisp white hull. From the moment he'd  
first seen her, something about her had called to him.

_And look how that turned out._

He shoved thoughts of the past aside. _Look to the here and now_.

He studied the small ship ahead. At only 180 meters long, she was much smaller than any other ship he'd  
encountered And yet…

He sensed a personality about her, a calm confidence. There were three other ships docked; an _Armstrong,  
Mayflower_, and _Hermes_ class. All of them dwarfed her, but she didn't seem daunted in the slightest. It was  
as if she was saying to the other ships, _Am I supposed to be impressed with you guys just because you're big?  
I know my worth. Do you? _

He also sensed a certain... feistiness about her. As if she was saying _I may be small but don't think for one  
second that I can't hold my own._

As if hearing his thoughts, Filars continued. "When I first transferred to her I'd spent two years serving  
onboard the _U.S.S. Kepler_; _Newton_ class. The first time I saw the _Saratoga_ all I could think was 'I'm going  
to be on that dinky little thing?' She chuckled. "She soon taught me the error of my ways."

Her expression turned serious. "I've been with her for eight years and the Number One rule I've learned  
is never judge anything by its size. Never make the mistake of thinking that bigger means better or that  
smaller means less. The _Saratoga _may not big, but she's a match for any ship in the fleet."

"Sounds like she's your baby," Kirk remarked.

"That she is. And I'm confident she'll become yours as well."

A voice came over the intercom. _Saratoga to Shuttlecraft High Tide, you are cleared for arrival in Shuttlebay 1._


	8. Arrival

1/1/2259  
_Shuttlebay of the Saratoga_

"Commanding Officer of the _Saratoga _arriving."

Kirk barely heard Filars' announcement and the boatswain' s whistle. His mind was too full of the thought.  
_This is it_.

He stepped out of the shuttle and saw his new crew standing at attention, gazing at him expectantly.

As he made his way toward the podium he spotted the two Nlians, Alyen and L'Naym, who had spoken to him  
at Starfleet Headquarters. They both noticed him looking at them and flashed welcoming smiles.

Kirk smiled back and abruptly realized what it was that had struck him about the couple. Since being promoted  
to Captain he had become used to seeing awe, admiration and occasionally trepidation in the faces of new people.  
But although the two Nlians had recognized and obviously respected him, what had shown from their faces was  
genuine warmth and friendliness.

Arriving at podium he read out loud from his PADD.

_To Captain James Tiberius Kirk.  
Stardate 2259.01_

_You are hereby requested and required to take command of the U.S.S Saratoga as of this date. _

_Vice Admiral Christopher Pike.  
Starfleet Command._

He looked out over the assembled faces of his new crew. Every single one of them met his eyes and in each  
of their faces he saw both respect and determination to prove themselves to their new Captain.

_They'll always have my back_ he realized.

He shuddered minutely as a tension that had lurked within him from the moment he'd reapplied for another  
starship evaporated.


	9. Reception

_Saratoga Mess Hall_

After the formal induction, Kirk and most of the senior officers had moved to the Mess Hall for a reception.  
Located on Deck 2 it served as both dining room for the crew as well as a place for social gatherings. Filars  
had informed him that due to the smaller size of the _Saratoga_ there was no Senior Officer's Mess.

"_Delphis_ class ships don't have a lot of amenities, so we're a lot less formal. Everybody from crewman to  
captain eats and relaxes together. There's no Senior Officer's Mess, just the Mess. No Senior Officer's Lounge,  
just the Lounge." She'd smiled "I've always liked it."

Kirk found he liked it too. There was a tiny Captain's Dining Room, located behind the Mess. But he'd already  
decided that the only time he'd use would be if he was entertaining important guests.

And now he found himself gazing into the eyes of his new First Officer.

"Welcome, aboard, Captain," the Andorian said quietly. "I am Commander Thelin th' Valrass. I will be both  
your First Officer and Chief Science Officer. It is my honor to serve under you."

"The honor is mine, Commander," Kirk answered. He had looked up the background of his new First officer:  
Andorian/Aenar hybrid. Brilliant scientist with a focus in climatology. Serious and hard working. Calm natured  
but born of a warrior race and so a skilled fighter. As Kirk looked into his eyes he also sensed subtle humor  
and no small amount of warmth.

As the reception continued there were other introductions.

"Greetings, Captain. I am Lieutenant Haruto Akari, your chief Helmsman." The tall powerfully built  
Japanese male bowed solemnly. "I am honored to serve you."

Kirk bowed back. "The honor is mine, Lieutenant."

"Greetings Captain. I'm Lieutenant Arex Na Eth, Chief Navigator. You may remember me."

Kirk grinned at the Edosian. "Yeah. I saw you at the Academy a few times. You're supposed to be one  
of the best navigators in the fleet."

"According to some, Sir. I am simply here to do my best."

"I am Lieutenant Shiboline M'Ress, Captain," the Caitain female said in a soft purring voice. "It's my  
pleasure to serve under you."

Kirk looked into the golden eyes of his Chief of Communications and smiled. "The pleasure is mine,  
Lieutenant."

_And I didn't even have to go through a lot of effort to learn your first name._

"Captain." Filars came up to him and handed him a dish of steaming meats and vegetables. "Try this,  
you're not eating enough."

"Yes, Mom." Kirk grinned and took the plate. From the moment they'd met, his Chief Engineer had  
developed a maternal streak about him. "This is delicious," he commented as he began to eat.

Filars smiled. "Get used to it. Our chef, Petty Officer Gavor, is a Tellerite. He _lives _to complain but he is  
one great cook."

Kirk glanced around the Mess Hall again and noted two girls, about 12 and 11, chattering with a 9 year old boy.  
Because _Delphis_ class ships were research vessels, missions were generally safer and crewmen often brought  
their children on board with them, something not common with other Starfleet vessels. He had found out that  
there were seven kids on board the _Saratoga_.

He wasn't really used to being around kids, but he was sure that having them around would keep things  
interesting. He smiled internally, if nothing else it would keep Bones on his toes.

_The chef is one great cook_ he thought as he took another helping. _And I have a feeling that this will be  
a great ship._


	10. A New Medbay

_Saratoga corridors_

Doctor McCoy made his way through the _Saratoga's_ corridors, following his new Head Nurse, Diana Belzoni.  
She had introduced herself to him during the reception and he had asked her to show him the medbay.  
"So I can see what I have to work with."

He mulled over what info he had about her so far; 41 years old, born and raised in Italy, married to science  
officer, Lieutenant Commander Ricardo Belzoni. Both had served on board the _Saratoga _for five years. From  
what he has seen of her files she was a competent nurse and dedicated to her craft.

As they walked through the hallways, McCoy felt his curiosity rise. "What was the last CMO like?"

Belzoni turned to him. She was a short statured woman but clearly had a huge personality. And although she  
wasn't what many would consider beautiful, her dark eyes were very expressive.

They sparkled now as she smiled with remembrance. "Paul Fieldstone? He was a good man; he served on this  
ship for six years. When they told him that our new Captain and CMO were a package deal and that he was getting  
transferred he said he understood. He told me that he was looking forward to his new posting; the _U.S.S. Wyoming._  
Its _Armstrong_ class and a 750 member crew will keep him busy." She gave a slight chuckle. "He was always happiest  
when up to his eyebrows in work."

"Sounds like my kind of guy," McCoy commented.

"This is a small ship so we have a much smaller staff than you'd be used to," Belzoni continued. "I, of course,  
am the Head Nurse. Then there's Lieutenant Jeffrey Flanders. He's our medical technician as well as a very good  
researcher. You won't see a lot of him during the day; he's practically a night owl. He almost always requests  
Gamma Shift, so it won't be hard to avoid night duty."

"Sound good to me."

"We also have Crewman Tuskaro Alyen. He's brand new and will be serving as both medic and medical assistant."

"Met him briefly already."

"And finally we have Lieutenant Maria Sanchez, our current Counselor in Training."

"Captain Martell's wife was the last Ship's Counselor, right?"

A shadow passed over Belzoni's eyes "_Sì_. She was not only the Ship's Counselor but a friend to everyone on board.  
When she died, it wasn't unexpected, but it hit a lot of people hard. Especially Maria."

They continued in silence for a few more minutes before they finally arrived at their destination.

"Here we are, Doctor," Belzoni said with a smile.

McCoy stepped inside his new headquarters and looked around. It was much smaller than the Medbay on the _Enterprise;_  
with four medical beds, a lab and doctor's office. But despite its smallness the room had a comforting, intimate feel.

"It may not be as big as the one on the _Enterprise," _Belzoni continued,"but its cozy and it suits our needs."

McCoy stiffened and his expression went dark. "Do me a favor? Do _not_ mention the_ Enterprise_ around me.  
And _especially_ not around the Captain. Those backstabbers hurt him worse than the animals who raped him."

Belzoni nodded solemnly. "I understand, Doctor."

"Dr. McCoy?"

McCoy turned toward the greeting and spotted Crewman Alyen.

The young Nlian approached and bowed his head slightly. "Greetings, Doctor."

"I remember you," McCoy commented. "You and your Missus were cozying up to the Captain the other day."

Alyen's eyes widened slightly. "Doctor, I assure you, we were only…"

"Trying to be friendly," McCoy interrupted. "Well don't think for one second that being friendly's going to get you  
anywhere in my sickbay. I have zero tolerance for idiots and I expect nothing less than the best at all times."

Alyen nodded. "I never give anything _but_ my best, Doctor. I'm here to serve and to learn."

"I'm a doctor, not a teacher," McCoy muttered.

"But I'll be working under you and learning from you," the Nlian replied quietly. A slight smile came to his face.  
"So in a way you_ are_ my teacher and I your student." He met the doctor's eyes. "And I look forward to our journey  
together."

"Well I guess we'll soon find out what you're made of, won't we?"


	11. First Launching

_Saratoga Bridge_

"Captain on the Bridge."

Kirk take a long look around the _Saratoga_ bridge. It was much smaller than the bridge of the _Enterprise._  
In contrast to the 19 duty stations of the Flagship, the _Saratoga_ only had 12, only six of which needed to  
be fully manned. But at the same time it gave off a more intimate feel.

Following the reception he had wandered around his new ship in order to get a feel for her and what he had  
seen he'd liked. The _Saratoga_ was small, but she definitely had personality and he had no doubt she could  
hold her own in a scrap. Every crewmember he'd encountered had greeted him with both respect and warmth.

Now it was time for one final step to make his new Captaincy fully official; his first launching.

He saw the expectant faces of his bridge crew and gave an internal smile as he noted that Bones had come  
up from Medbay to stand beside him during the launch.

With a nod to the crew, Kirk made his way over to the command chair and sat down. "Well, let's get this show  
on the road. Lieutenant M'Ress, get me dock control."

"Dock control reading, sir," the Caitian responded. "Control, this is the _Saratoga._ Requesting permission to depart."

_"Saratoga this is Dock Control, permission to depart granted_."

Bones leaned over and squeezed his shoulder. "Buckle up, Jim," he said softly.

Kirk smiled briefly in gratitude. "All decks this is Captain Kirk. Prepare for immediate departure." He called  
Engineering. "Commander Filars, how are we doing down there?"

From Engineering came the confident and reassuring, "_Dilithium chamber at maximum, Captain. __Warp available  
at your command."_

"Thank you, Commander." He turned his attention to his helmsman. "Retract all moorings, Mr. Akari and engage thrusters."

"Moorings retracted, Captain and thrusters fired," the pilot responded. "Separating from space dock."

Gracefully the tiny ship pulled away from its harbor.

"The _Saratoga_ has cleared space dock, Captain. We are ready for warp."

"Set our course."

"Course laid in."

"Engage."

* * *

_Captain's Log _  
_Stardate 2259.0.1_

_This is my first log entry as Captain of the Saratoga. _  
_We are currently en-route to the Hymer System, our first stop in a six month mission of planetary  
and astronomical research._

_On a more personal note, I've only been on this ship for a few hours, but I already have a good  
feeling about her. _

_And my new crew – every single one of them met my gaze when I came on board for the first time,  
and I could tell that unlike my last crew they would always have my back. I'm looking forward to  
getting to know all of them better._

_James T. Kirk_


	12. An Invitation

_1/2/2259_  
_Captain's Ready Room_

Kirk sat in his Ready Room going over reports. In another 24 hours the _Saratoga_ would be arriving  
at its first destination: the massive Hymer Gas Cloud, and he wanted to be as up to date as possible.

He'd been pleasantly surprised when he learned that the _Saratoga_ had a Captain's Ready Room.  
The fact that such a tiny ship had an amenity that many larger ships lacked was something that he  
found very amusing.

The _Enterprise_ had a very large one, but he'd seldom used it. However from the moment he'd  
seen the _Saratoga's_ he'd liked it. It was like everything else on his new ship, small but cozy, and he  
had a feeling that he would be using his 'private office' a lot.

The door chimed and he looked up. "Come in."

The two crewmen who had introduced themselves at Starfleet HQ stepped inside and Kirk put down  
the report. "Crewmen Alyen and L'Naym."

"Glad that you remember us, sir," "L'Naym said with a bright smile.

"Never forget a face." Kirk gestured to the two chairs in front of his desk. "Have a seat. So what can  
I do for you both?"

"Actually Captain, we wanted to do something for you," L'Naym responded. "We've both been assigned  
Alpha Shift for the next few days." She took a breath. "And we were hoping to invite you to share a meal  
with us tomorrow evening."

Upon seeing the Captain's eyebrows rise slightly she continued. "You see, sir, meals are very important  
on Nlia. When one has gained a new leader its customary to invite them to one's home for a meal as a  
sign of loyalty and respect. It's a very old tradition and it's not always performed or accepted but we felt  
led to offer it to you."

"We're aware that you might consider it inappropriate for two crewmen to make such an offer to a captain,"  
Alyen whispered. "And if you refuse we'll understand."

"But if you'd consider it, we'd be very honored," L'Naym finished.

"The honor is mine, Crewmen," Kirk said quietly. "I would be happy to share a meal with you both."

Hang protocol; after everything he'd been through he needed all pleasantness he could get.

Both Nlians' eyes widened and a beaming smile broke out on L'Naym's face. "Wonderful! Can we expect you  
tomorrow at 1800 hours? Room 487?"

"Tomorrow evening, 1800 hours," Kirk promised. "I'll be there with bells on."


	13. A Dolphin

_Saratoga Engine Room_

"There's something to be said for being on a brand new ship," Filars said. "But I've always preferred  
ships that are more seasoned."

Kirk nodded. Filars had come to him wanting his approval on some new updates she'd wanted to install on  
the anti-gravity units. Since there had been nothing currently going on he'd decided to accompany her.  
Although his first love was the Bridge he'd always had an interest in Engineering and there was something  
exciting about being near the mighty engines that powered a ship.

As he'd watched her work he had asked her a few questions about the _Saratoga_ and it turned out that when  
it came to anything about this ship and its history she was a fount of knowledge.

"The _Saratoga's_ not a young ship, fresh from the docks," Filars continued. "She has history, a lot of stories  
to tell and a lot more to come."

Kirk thought briefly of the _Enterprise._ The Flagship was only a year old and she already had plenty of stories,  
including saving Earth. Who knew how many more she would have by the time she was finally decommissioned?

He scowled. There was one _Enterprise_ story that was forever branded into his soul. A story of violation,  
betrayal and abandonment. He fervently hoped that the _Saratoga's_ future stories would be more healing.

"Captain could you hand me that coil spanner?"

Kirk forced his concentration back on his Chief Engineer.

"The _Delphis_ class is very small," Filars continued after he handed her the tool "When it was first proposed,  
a lot of people were put off by its size. The man who designed it pointed out that the first _Enterprise_,  
the _Enterprise NX_, had been even smaller with crew of 83. And look at all she accomplished."

Filars gave a sad smile. "Starfleet vessels were originally a lot smaller than now. But as time passed they  
got bigger and bigger and everyone just started assuming that bigger meant better. And then after  
the _Kelvin_…"

She sighed. "I can understand why they did it; larger ships do have a tactical advantage against a threat  
like Nero. But still…I just hope people realize that smaller doesn't necessarily mean inferior."

Kirk nodded thoughtfully. His thoughts turned to his former Chief Engineer. As far as Scotty was concerned,  
the Silver Lady _Enterprise_ was the best ship in the quadrant. And compared to her every other existing ship  
was a spark before a supernova.

_But I have to admit I felt the same way once_, he thought. _There was a time when as far as I was concerned_  
_there was only one ship in the fleet and her name was Enterprise. And I could never have imagined leaving her._

_But that was then and this is now._

"Captain? Come with me."

Kirk abruptly realized that Filars had her hand on his arm and was pulling him to his feet. "Hey what are you-?"

"I'm done here and you're coming with me to the Mess Hall," she said firmly. "Its lunch time and you need to  
eat, young man."

As she pulled him out of the corridor where she had been working she called out. "Hophea!"

Lieutenant Hophea Patariki, Filars' fondly acknowledged second in command, appeared. "Yes Commander?"  
the 6'2 Māori asked in his deep booming voice.

"The Captain and I are heading to the Mess Hall. You got everything down here?"

Patariki's expressive face smiled. "As always, Commander."

Filars smiled back. "I know, old friend. I know."

As they made their way through toward the turbolift Kirk thought of one final question. "Why exactly is  
this ship's class named 'Delphis ?'

Filars smiled. "_Delphis_ is Greek for _Dolphin._ Alan Wells, the man who designed this class, grew up by the ocean.  
He often said that dolphins aren't big or flashy and if you see a whole pod of them, none of them stand out.  
But if you get one alone and see what it can do, you know it owns the sea because there is nothing in the sea  
more clever. He envisioned a ship like a dolphin; small but clever and with no limit to what it could do."

She smiled "I've always thought of the _Saratoga_ as a terrier."

Kirk raised his eyebrows in question. Earlier he had met Filars' two 'babies', a Yorkshire and Cairn terrier,  
and he wondered how they compared to the _Saratoga._

Filars explained. "As anyone who knows dogs can tell you; large dogs are the easy going ones. It's the little ones  
that are feisty. And terriers are the most feisty of all."

Her face grew serious. "Terriers may be small but they've got huge personalities. They're completely devoted to  
the ones they love and they're absolutely fearless; if someone they love is in danger a terrier would throw itself  
at a dragon without hesitating. A terrier's heart is pretty much synonymous with a lion's heart. The only difference  
is that a terrier is so small that its fierceness can catch you off guard and that just might give you the advantage."

As they reached and entered the turbolift she smiled. "So what you are in command of, Captain, is a clever  
dolphin with the heart of a terrier."

Kirk chuckled. "I guess the galaxy had better watch out."

As the turbolift began its upward journey he thought._ I traded an elegant Silver Lady for a brave and clever dolphin.  
I think it wasn't a bad trade._


	14. Gas cloud

_1/3/2259 _  
_Saratoga Bridge_

"Would you look at that," Kirk murmured.

The Hymer Gas Cloud, stretched before them in all of its vast red-violet glory. The_ U.S.S. Hawking _had  
discovered it during a deep space survey and now the _Saratoga_ would be spending the next week conducting  
sensor sweeps and in-depth studies of it. They would also run several away missions, including an extended  
one with the _Waverider_. Kirk was already planning on being on one or more of those missions.

"It's beautiful," M'Ress purred softly.

"It _is_ impressive," Thelin commented from his station. "Commander Falno has already _requested _extra time  
on the sensor array."

"I'll bet," Kirk chuckled. During the reception he had met with Lieutenant Commander Victor Falno, head of  
Stellar Cartography and Astrophysics. British descent, born and raised on Tycho City. A brilliant man with a  
rather superior attitude. There was no one more dedicated to stellar sciences and to hear him talk it was the  
only worthwhile science in existence. He could be pushy and had regular 'sparring matches' with Thelin about  
personnel and use of equipment.

But there was one thing he'd said that had definitely make Kirk take notice. _"Big ships come in, discover  
the place and move on. We come in and take a closer look and in the process make a lot more discoveries."_

His words echoed the sentiment of Master Chief Petty Officer Laurence Tolliver, who even now was going  
over the settings at Mission Operations.

_"Delphis class ships_ _conduct the_ _analysis on an area after an explorer ship makes the initial discovery_. _We have  
the best sensors in the fleet and many times we pick up details that larger ships miss. Details which might be  
trivial or which might mean the difference between life and death. Our ships are not flashy, and their work  
is often unsung. But those who serve on them know their worth."_

_And its time I did too, _Kirk thought firmly.

"All right everyone. We've got a lot of work to do. The _Hawking_ discovered this beauty. Let's get in there  
and take a closer look at it."


	15. Three Pledges

_1/3/2259_  
_Alyen and L'Naym's Quarters  
6:00 PM_

"Captain," Alyen greeted with a smile as he opened the door. "Come in."

"Thank you," Kirk said pleasantly. He looked around as he stepped over the threshold. "Wow. I like  
what you've done with the place."

"Thank you," Alyen said shyly. "We're only enlisted crewmen but they still gave us large quarters.  
There are advantages to being lifemated."

"I'll bet," Kirk chuckled. "This certainly beats having bunk beds."

Starfleet personnel from the rank of Lieutenant upward were given their own set of quarters. Ensigns  
and enlisted crewmen had to share. But married couples, regardless of rank, received their own quarters  
as well. The Nlians' room was small but it was richly decorated with flowers, plants, rugs and cushions,  
giving their quarters a bright, homey feel.

L'Naym looked up from where she was arranging food on a small short legged dining table. "Welcome  
to our home, Captain," she said with her trademark smile. "Consider it your home as well."

"Thank you, Crewman," Kirk responded.

"Before we all sit down, there's something that we'd like to do, if you would permit." L'Naym left the table  
and came to stand beside her lifemate. "We've invited you into our home. Now, before we eat, we would  
both like to give you our Pledges. It's the Pledge given to a new Chieftain."

Looking their Captain in the eyes, both Nlians began to chant in unison. Although Kirk didn't understand  
what they were saying he gathered from their solemn expressions that it was important.

"Those words. What do they mean?" he asked after they were finished.

This time the Nlians spoke softly in standard.

"_By your side we will stand._  
_Where you lead, we will follow._  
_What you ask, we will give._  
_What you command, we will obey."_

Kirk's eyes widened and he felt his throat tighten. "Are…are there any words I'm supposed to say?"  
he managed finally.

"Captain," Alyen began, "there's no need for you to…"

"Please…are there?"

"Yes," Alyen said quietly.

_"By your sides I will stand._  
_On the right paths I will lead._  
_Your lives I will defend._  
_Your trust I will not betray."_

Well, I guess I'd better say them then," Kirk said quietly. He looked into both Nlians' eyes and  
solemnly repeated the words.

L'Naym gave a gentle smile. "Now that we've made our Pledges, we celebrate it with a meal." She led  
the captain to the table's seating cushions. "I'm sure you're hungry and I don't want the food to get cold."


	16. A Dinner Conversation

"Mmm," Kirk murmured as he swallowed another mouthful of the meal L'Naym had prepared.  
"This is delicious!"

"Thank you," L'Naym beamed. "I've always loved to work with foods. And I'll be getting a lot of chances  
to do that on this ship; I'll be helping in the galley sometimes."

"You're working with _Gavor_?" Kirk raised an eyebrow. He'd had an 'encounter' with the Tellerite chef on his  
first day aboard and wasn't likely to forget it anytime soon. "He's not too hard on you is he?"

L'Naym gave a rueful chuckle. "No. He may like to insult but he has a kind heart beneath. And he's an  
excellent cook. He loves to cook and I love to bake so I think we'll get along just fine."

"I hope so, for your sake." Only that morning Bones had had an 'encounter' of his own with the Tellerite  
and Kirk had thought that the two would peel the paint off the walls. He had never thought that anyone  
could out-temper or our-argue Leonard McCoy, but he now believed that the doctor may have finally met  
his match.

"So tell me about yourselves," he continued as he reached for another bread roll. "I know that you're both  
from Nlia, I know that you're both married." He winked at L'Naym. "And I know that _you_ are one great cook.  
How did you both wind up on my ship?"

"We always wanted to be in Starfleet," Alyen began. "When we were children we'd spend hours watching  
the stars and imagine visiting them. We loved to visit the spaceport at the capital. We'd watch the ships come  
and go, imagine where they'd been and what they'd seen."

"When you were both children? You've known each other a long time than?"

"Practically our whole lives. We met when we were both 7 and were best friends from that moment on.  
We remained close all during the years that we grew up and, as often happens, our friendship grew into love.  
We lifemated a year ago."

"You're both lucky."

"Thank you," Alyen said softly. He turned toward L'Naym and took her hand. "By the time we were 20 we knew  
that our hearts beat only for each other. Our people aren't permitted to lifemate until they undergo the Rite  
of Adulthood, which at the time was two years away. But I would have gladly lifemated her then. Because I knew  
then, as I know now, that she was the one love of my life and that there would never be anyone but her."  
The look he gave his lifemate was one of naked adoration.

L'Naym squeezed his hand and returned the adoring gaze. "And I knew then, as I know now, that you were my  
other half. And that I could no more live without you then I could live without air," she said softly.

"Well," Kirk said softly. "You're both _very_ lucky."

"Tuskaro had training as a medic and I've always been a good botanist," L'Naym continued. "A few weeks after  
we lifemated, we entered the Starfleet Training Program for Enlisted Personal. When we left to begin our training  
it was the first time either of us had ever been off-planet."

"That was pretty brave of you," Kirk said. "When I went to the Academy it was just a quick shuttle ride from Iowa  
to California. You left your whole world."

"Shylea _is_ my world, Captain," Alyen said quietly.

"My ancestors were desert nomads," L"Naym put in. "A favorite saying of theirs was that as long as one had the  
embrace of kin it didn't matter where they laid their head. As long as I'm with my lifemate I'm home."

Alyen continued the story. "We completed our training last month and this is our first assignment. We assumed  
we'd be sent to an outpost; most new crewmen are. But they told us that we were being assigned to a starship."

Kirk nodded thoughtfully. "Starfleet lost a lot of ships at Vulcan so they're trying to get as many new ships filled  
with as many new crewmen as possible. So anyone who shows promise has a better than good chance of getting  
on a ship now."

Alyen smiled. "Well whatever their reasons, we're grateful. The first ship we were ever on was the Nlian freighter  
that took us to Starbase 8. From there we took a transport, the _U.S.S. Horizon_ to Earth. It was the first Starfleet  
vessel we'd ever been on. And we were so impressed with her she may as well have been the Flagship!"

Kirk chuckled "So you find Starfleet vessels impressive do you? So do I." He paused. "The first time I saw my last  
ship all I said was, 'Wow.'"

"That's what went through our minds," L'Naym smiled. "Nlian ships tend to be small; the freighter we were on had  
a crew of 12. The _Horizon_ had a crew of 45 and carried about 300 passengers. But when we got to Starbase there  
was another ship there; the _U.S.S. Republic_; someone told us that it had a crew of 500! We'd seen pictures of large  
ships of course, but to see one in person is another matter entirely. We were staring at it, amazed at how big it was  
until someone told us that it was a _medium_ sized ship that leaned toward the small side!

Alyen chuckled. "Then when we got to Spacedock there were two other starships there that were even bigger! One  
of them was a _Newton_ class, the _U.S.S. Raman. _When they told us that it had a crew of over 800 people I think my  
jaw hit the floor! That's bigger then some of the towns in the area where I grew up! Every Federation starship is a  
literal city in space!"

"Except for the _Saratoga,_" Kirk said with a grin. "This little baby carries a whopping 100!" In mock seriousness  
he asked. "Would you rather be assigned to a bigger ship? I might be able to arrange it."

"No, Captain," L'Naym said quickly. "It's an honor to be here. If we were assigned here, then this is where we're  
meant to be. Every member of the caravan is vital. Besides I _like _this ship. It has personality, I felt it from the  
moment I first saw it."

"I think I prefer smaller ships," Alyen said. "With a smaller ship you get the chance to know everyone. With a big  
ship it's easy to get lost in the crowd. If you're going to be in space it's better to be with friends than strangers."

Kirk nodded. "You're right. It is."

_I thought that the crew of the Enterprise were friends but they turned out to be strangers._

As the evening wore on the three of them talked of other topics, including the Hymer Gas Cloud, which both Nlians  
were fascinated with. Kirk found himself touched by the often childlike wonder the couple displayed.

"I've always believed that one is never too old to think the world is as mysterious and wonderful as you thought  
when you were a child," L'Nayn said.

They also told Kirk a bit about Nlia itself. L'Naym had come from the huge Southern Continent, which was mostly  
made up of deserts, canyons and a few semi-arid grasslands.

"I'm a Child of the Sands. My ancestors roamed the great deserts and now I'm roaming among the stars. "

Alyen, on the other hand, had come from the tiny Northern continent, which was covered with thick forests.

"I'm a Child of the Forests yet I heard the stars call."

"I grew up in Iowa. So I suppose that makes me a Child of the Cornfields," Kirk joked. Then he grew thoughtful.  
"But out here...this is where I belong."

Later Alyen brought out a pipe and played a tune while L'Naym sang in a lovely lilting voice. "In gratitude for a  
good meal and good company," she explained.

Kirk was surprised how quickly time seemed to pass. And how good it felt to not be a captain, but just...Jim.

Finally, though, he stood. "Well, guys, this was really great. But I've got to get going. I've got a ton of work to  
do tomorrow. "

"Before you go Captain, there's one last thing," Alyen said quickly. "One final tradition." He picked up a small box  
and handed it to Kirk. "When one gains a new leader it's customary to present them with a gift. If you had refused  
our invitation we would have given this to you yesterday in your Ready Room."

Surprised, Kirk took the box offered him and opened it. Inside was a large silver pin, finely crafted into the shape  
of the _Saratoga._ It filled the palm of his hand, and the silver was cool and sleek to the touch.

He felt his throat close and he swallowed. "It's….beautiful," he finally managed. "Thank you."

"When we learned that we were going to be transferred to the _Saratoga_ we had it specially crafted, " Alyen said softly.  
"As a gift of esteem for our new Commanding Officer."


	17. Security Chief

_1/4/2259_  
_Ready Room_

"You wanted to see me, Captain?"

Kirk looked up at the tall woman and beckoned her inside. "Commander Hatcher. Yes, come  
in and have a seat."

Security Chief, Lieutenant Commander Clarice Hatcher entered and sat down in front of him.  
She was in her mid 30's and a handsome woman even through the right side of her face was  
deeply scarred and she had only one eye.

Kirk had heard a lot about her; stern, reserved, as humorless as a Vulcan, didn't suffer fools  
and even Gavor didn't talk back to her if she was angry. Often harsh but never unfair and  
everyone respected her.

He had read her background as had everyone on the _Saratoga_; born on a small homestead at  
the edge of Federation space, her home attacked by raiders when she was only 11. Her family  
was murdered, she was captured and endured over two years of repeated beatings and rapes,  
losing one of her eyes in the process.

When he had first read her file the one thought that had kept going through his mind was;  
_She knows what it's like to be violated._

"I was hoping…to ask for your input," he began.

"My input, sir?"

Kirk nodded. Since his dinner with Alyen and L'Nayn, thoughts had been going constantly  
through his mind about many things.

"I know I'm new to the chair," he began. "And I know I'm young. One advantage of my former  
posting was that nearly everyone else there was young too. That isn't the case on the _Saratoga_;  
most of the people here are older than me. And those who are my age are either lieutenants,  
ensigns or crewman."

He paused. "I never expected to get thrown into the captaincy so quickly; if Nero hadn't shown  
up I'd probably be an ensign now. And I certainly never expected to go from one ship to another  
so quickly either. But it happened and here I am. So what I wanted to ask is how is the crew  
handling it?"

"Do you mind if I speak frankly, Captain?"

"Not at all."

"Good, because that's the only way I speak. Quickly doesn't begin to describe it. No one has ever  
been promoted to captain as quickly as you. But no one has ever done what you've done either.  
You saved the world. Literally. Everyone on this ship knows what you've done and everyone here  
respects you for it. You've more than earned a command."

"And how does the crew feel about me in _this_ command?" he asked. "_Delphis_ class ships are science  
vessels and scientists are generally whom they've placed in command of them. I know that when  
Martell stepped down all of you were expecting someone like him; a scientist through and through.  
Instead you wound up with me." He gave a slight rueful smile. "I'm a lot of things but a scientist isn't  
one of them."

"You're an explorer," she said firmly. "Science is about exploration. You're a brilliant tactician; space  
is often dangerous and even a science vessel needs someone in command who knows what they're  
doing. As I said, Captain, everyone here respects you. We're a Starfleet crew and you've proven  
yourself a Starfleet Captain. We'll follow wherever you lead."

As Kirk looked into his Chief of Security's single eye he, saw stern reserve, but also respect  
and understanding.

"Thank you Commander," he said quietly.


	18. A Conversation over Lunch

_1/5/2259_  
_Mess Hall_

"Mind if I join you?" Kirk asked as he approached the couple in the midst of enjoying their lunch.

Upon seeing him, both Nlians started to get up from their seats. "Captain," Alyen began.

"As you were," Kirk smiled as he sat down across from them. "I thought I'd check up on you, guys.  
How are you settling in so far?"

"Wonderful," L'Naym smiled. "We've made some new friends too."

"What a coincidence, so have I."

That was true. After only a few days onboard Kirk felt that he was well on his way to bonding with his senior staff.

Hard working Thelin always seemed to be everywhere at once and Kirk sensed that if there was ever trouble  
there was no better person to have at your back. Surprisingly his new First Officer also shared his interest in pool.  
In fact, the Andorian had trounced him the first time they'd played and Kirk was determined to even the score that  
very evening.

Steady maternal Filars had already earned the nickname, 'Mother Hen' in his heart.

Although Hatcher was intimidating, no one doubted that she was completely dedicated to the safety of the crew.

Arex was generally a being of few words but Kirk could tell that he'd always be willing to lend a listening ear.  
He also had a subtle sense of humor and yesterday had entertained the Captain with some slight of hand tricks.  
(Made especially interesting due to the fact that he had three arms.)

Akari was a no nonsense perfectionist but at the same time he possessed a subtle charm and 'honor and 'respect'  
were his middle names.

M'Ress, like most Caitians, was mild mannered and cooperative and Kirk already appreciated her warmth and tact.

_No ice queen here_ he had thought.

Kirk had only spoken to Tolliver a few times but he already viewed him as an inspiration. He'd served onboard  
the _Saratoga_ since it was built and was the undisputed master of her internal systems.

But most of all he understood pain in a way deeper than Kirk. Fourteen years before he'd lost his wife and three  
children in a shuttle accident. But despite the tragedy, which aged him prematurely, he persevered and years later  
adopted a war orphan, the now 9 year old Kevin Wood.

_Would I have had his strength?_ Kirk had wondered.

Chief Petty Officer Badrak Omar, from Morocco, was another of the ship's 'Elders' as he liked to refer to them.  
He assisted with both Security and Personnel and was known for his steady measured personality and intuitive thinking.  
He was a man of few words but many regarded him as a sort of father confessor because he kept all confidences and  
when he spoke he always gave sound advice, often in the form of a story.

He had only spoken to Chief Petty Officer Silvia Mayberry once but she had made a definite impression. She was  
the head of ship's resourcesand knew down to an atom's weight what supplies the ship had. A gracious capable  
woman with a ready smile and a huge amount of common sense.

"This is a friendly ship," Kirk continued. "And as you said, Crewman; if one's going to be out in space it's better  
to be surrounded by friends than strangers."

He looked at the Nlians with a more serious expression. "There's something I wanted to ask you both. You guys  
both had Starfleet training. I've looked at your records; you're both very bright and graduated with high scores.  
Did you ever consider going the whole route? Applying to the Academy? Try to become officers?"

L'Naym nodded. "We thought about it. We'd often watch cadets, many of them younger than us and wonder what  
it'd be like to be one of them. And when we watched the drills and parades we'd wonder what it would be like  
to be officers. So, yes, we definitely thought about it. But…"

"But you didn't do it?"

"No," Alyen answered. "Part of it was eagerness. We were both twenty two; new adults and newlyweds. We were  
eager to start our lives in earnest. We wanted to be out there traveling the stars, visiting other worlds. We didn't  
want to spend four more years behind a desk."

L'Naym put in. "Another reason…we're both lifemates. Right now it's just the two of us, but four years from now who  
can say? We knew that when we started a family it would probably be station or planet duty for us. So if we wanted  
to travel to the stars… now was the time to do it."

Alyen's expression was thoughtful. "But the biggest reason was… To be an officer requires a certain amount of…toughness.  
An officer is a leader and every leader needs to be made of steel. Even the kindest leader on occasion has to be harsh."

He gave a slight chuckle. "As anyone who knows me could tell you…I don't have a harsh cell in my body. Give me a task  
and I'll do my best to see it done. But telling others what to do and making them do it, or disciplining those who don't  
live up to their responsibilities …I don't think that's in me."

L'Naym nodded."I felt the same way. I once told a cousin of mine that I wanted to join Starfleet. He laughed and said  
that I was far too sweet natured to be an officer. He meant it as a joke, but he was right. By nature I'm a friend and a  
leader can't always be a friend. I love to work with people, but I have no desire to command them. I don't need to lead,  
I'm content to follow."

"You wouldn't have had to go into Command," Kirk pointed out."You could have stuck with Science and Medical."

"Even someone in Science or Medical can still wind up in Command," L'Naym answered. "Look at Commander Thelin.  
I've only spoken to him once but I could tell that although he's Chief Science Officer,he's not your First Officer for nothing.  
He may speak with a soft tone but he has a core of iron and one had better not try foolishness around him."

Kirk chuckled. "Very true." He thought briefly of another First Officer on another ship in another lifetime.

He shoved the thought aside.

"Speaking of leading and following. There's something I've been meaning say to you both." He leaned forward, all seriousness  
now. "When you guys made your Pledges to me. That…really meant a lot. I wanted to thank you."

"It was our honor Captain," Alyen said quietly.

"No. It was _my_ honor. And there's something else. It's the real reason I wanted to speak to you both just now. There's  
something that I'd appreciate your input on."


	19. Input

"Whatever help we can give is yours, Captain," Alyen said. "But shouldn't you ask your  
senior officers? We're just enlisted crewmen and we've only been on this ship for a few days."

Kirk grinned. "So have I. And I'm having talks with my senior staff as well. But enlisted or not,  
you're part of this crew too and your input is just as important."

"What did you need to ask?"

"Since I first accepted command of the _Saratoga_, I've been thinking about a lot of things; command,  
the bonds between Captain and crew and other things."

Kirk took a deep breath. "What do you guys think it takes to make a good captain?"

The Nlians looked surprised for a moment, then thoughtful.

L'Naym answered first. "A lot of different traits are needed to make a good captain. And they blend  
like the metals used to make a good blade."

"There are a lot of metaphors that I can think of," Alyen put in."A captain needs to be like a Terahan.  
They're equine-like creatures, about the size of a horse. They usually eat plants, but any predator that  
attacks it is likely to find itself eaten. They're very fierce and very, very cunning. The strongest, bravest  
and smartest is the one who leads the herd: the Alpha.

"When I was nine, there was a herd not far from where I lived and Rangers would often take school  
children to see them. We loved it. My sister was always talking about how she wanted to be strong,  
smart and brave like an Alpha.

"But there was something else. One day we saw a terahan foal that had wandered from the herd,  
being attacked by a predator. The Alpha fought it off even though it was much bigger. Later my sister  
talked about how brave the Alpha was, how cunning and good a fighter he was. But I saw something  
else; the Alpha wasn't fighting to protect himself, he was fighting to protect his herd. And not even his  
whole herd, but a single member. If necessary he would have died to protect her.

Alyen paused for a moment. "It takes strength, courage and cunning to be a leader. But it also takes  
dedication and being willing to die to protect your herd. Rather it be the entire herd, or a single member."

Kirk thought that the Nlian in front of him would have made one hell of a teacher.

"And there's something even more important," Alyen continued."The most important trait of all; to be  
a good leader requires wisdom. Centuries ago the Northern Lands suffered from a drought that lasted  
for years. During that time our people tightened their belts and knew hunger, but they didn't know  
starvation. That was a tribute to the wisdom of Chieftess Elvia. She organized the other chieftains  
and put together the Great Food Management. It was because of her wisdom that the people of the  
Northern Lands didn't starve. They were saved not with strength and cunning but with wisdom."

L'Naym had been nodding as well. "A Chieftain is responsible for everyone in his caravan. He guides  
them through the desert, through burning heat, endless sands and desert storms. Any mistake he makes  
could cost the lives of everyone in his group."

She looked into Kirk's eyes. "It takes a strong, brave and cunning leader, to protect his people from  
danger. But it takes a _wise_ leader to protect them from hunger and to keep them from losing their way."

"Wow," Kirk said admiringly. "Maybe one of you guys should be captain. You definitely respect the chair."

Both Nlians laughed at that. "Us, captains?" Alyen chuckled. "I don't think so. A captain needs to be  
a fierce, cunning Terahan. We're gentle Himlas."

"Himlas?" Kirk asked

"They're deer-like creatures about the size of cats. They're gentle and very shy, the complete opposites  
of Terahans. But despite being so different, they can always be found near Terahans. They stay near a  
herd and are gradually accepted into it. They do this because they know that an Alpha is very watchful  
and will always protect his herd." Alyen's face grew solemn. "We're honored to be part of your herd,  
Captain."

Kirk's face grew solemn too. "And I'm honored to have both of you as part of it." He paused.  
"Could you tell my more about that Pledge you gave me?"

L'Naym answered. "The Chieftain Pledge started thousands of years ago in the Southern Lands.  
The Children of the Sands knew that being a chieftain was not only a great privilege but a great burden  
as well. By giving their chieftain their Pledge they showed that they were aware of the burdens he or  
she faced. And that not only did they trust them, but they would do whatever they could to make their  
burdens lighter."

"How was it usually done?"

"It was in two phases; the Public and the Private. The Public was done by the entire tribe. The new  
chieftain would stand in front of the assembled tribe and recite the Pledge. Everyone in unison would  
recite their part back. Then there would be a feast.

"The Private Pledge was often considered the _real_ Pledge. Families or individuals would invite their new  
chieftain into their tent as we invited you. He or she would then give them his Pledge and take a drink  
from the Cup of Covenant. If the individual accepted him or her as their Chieftain they would recite  
the Pledge and drink as well. Then they would share a meal in celebration. When you gave a chieftain  
the Private Pledge you were affirming that he was was not only the_ tribe's_ chief, but _yours_ as well."

Kirk's eyes widened and once again he felt his throat tighten as he realized just what the young couple  
had given him. "Once again I'm very honored," he managed softly. He solemnly looked both of them in  
the eyes. "And I promise you both; I will never betray your trust."

"Nor we yours, Captain," L'Naym's voice was just as solemn. "Nor we yours."


	20. Breakfast with Bones

1/7/2259  
Mess Hall

"Come _on_, Bones. Aren't you in the _least_ bit curious to see it close up?"

The _Saratoga_ had spent the past four days studying the massive Hymer Cloud and everyone was  
enthusiastic about its findings, especially the away teams. (Kirk had already been on two of them.)

"I can see it just fine from here," McCoy said, motioning to the Mess Hall windows.

"We're going to be leaving in a few days. You'll miss your chance."

"I need to stay with my patients in sick bay."

"Uh, Bones, there _aren't_ any patients in sick bay."

"Forget it, Jim."

Kirk shook his head. Getting Bones interested in going on an away mission was like trying to teach  
a fish to tap dance on dry land. He was bad enough on surface missions, but shuttles…

"You know, Bones, I sometimes wonder why you ever came out into the black at all."

McCoy looked at him. "I joined Starfleet because I didn't have anywhere else to go at the time. "  
His next words were quiet. "As for why I'm out here now…you know the answer to that, Jim."

Kirk grew solemn as he looked into his old friend's eyes. "Yeah, Bones I do." Over the past year  
countless things had changed, but some things had stayed the same and he thanked whatever  
higher power existed for it.

The quiet mood was broken as Kirk heard a pleasant humming and looked up.

"Good morning, Captain," L'Naym said with a bright smile as she approached their table.

Kirk returned the smile. "Crewman L'Naym. This _is_ a small ship. We keep bumping into other."

She nodded. "I help in the galley, remember?" She placed a small flower filled vase on the table.  
"May I brighten your table?"

"Decorating the tables, too?"

"Decorations help to bring a cheer. And I've always found that food tastes better if it's served  
and eaten with a smile."

"You hear that, Bones?" Kirk smirked

McCoy gave one of his trademark scowls.

L'Naym had turned to the doctor. "Good morning to you too, Doctor. My lifemate speaks very highly of you."

"Oh, he does does he?"

"Yes. He says you're a brilliant man."

"Man, he's really trying to cozy up."

"Not at all, Doctor." The Nlian's face was serious now. "When my lifemate compliments someone he means it.  
If he says you're brilliant it's because he thinks you are and no other reason."

"In other words, watch what you say about him, Bones," Kirk chided, half teasing half serious. "Especially  
in front of his Misses!"

"Fine!" McCoy snapped. "I didn't mean any offense," he muttered to L'Naym before returning to his meal.

Kirk turned to the Nlian. "Don't mind him, he's always like that. But there's no better doctor."

Her smile had returned. "I know. That's exactly what my lifemate said." She turned to go. "Enjoy your breakfast,  
Captain. You too, Doctor."

Kirk turned back to McCoy. "Well _you_ can stay holed up in medbay if you like, Bones. I'm heading back  
out tomorrow."

McCoy gave him an annoyed look. "You've already been on two away missions already!"

"And each one only lasted a few hours. I'm putting together a longer one." He smiled. "And I've got  
special plans for it."


	21. Mission Briefing

_1/7/2259_  
_Observation Lounge_

_Delphis_ class ships were small vessels with few amenities but the Observation Lounge was one of the few  
of which they boasted. A small room, but with large windows showing a spectacular view of space, it was  
used for formal diplomatic functions, as a place where off duty crewmen could relax in a quiet setting.  
Or, as in the case of the two occupying it now, for having a private lesson.

"The analytical aspects of the algorithm are fourfold." Lieutenant Steven Bower, from Operations, was  
friendly, good humored and always willing to give extra help. So when one of the _Saratoga's _newest  
crewman had come to him asking for some assistance, he'd been happy to oblige.

Alyen stared down at his PADD, brow furrowed in concentration. "Unfortunately, when it comes to this  
sort of analyzing, I seem to have a threefold brain."

Bower chuckled. "You just need to break it down. Think of it as four smaller algorithms."

"Planning on switching to Operations, Crewman?" came another amused voice.

Both men looked up to see an Captain Kirk standing in the doorway. "As you where," he said before  
either of them could get up.

Kirk sat across from them both and addressed Alyen. "Are you leaving Medical already? Doctor McCoy  
hasn't scared you away I hope."

Alyen smiled. "No, Captain. It's just that my technical skills aren't quite as good as I'd like and I'm  
trying to improve them. Nurse Belzoni said that Lieutenant Bower was a good person to ask for pointers."

"Glad to hear it. Because where we're headed you're going to need plenty of tech skills."

Kirk handed a visibly surprised Alyen a PADD. " You and I, and a few other crewmen, are going on an  
away mission. Report to the Briefing Room at 300 hours."

As he stood to leave, Kirk addressed Bowers. "I understand you're very good with the sensors,  
Lieutenant. Be sure to give him plenty of pointers."  
_

_Briefing Room_

Kirk smiled at the three crewmen who sat before him; Crewman Vrel Kissi from Operations, Eeko Nsay  
from Engineering and Tuskaro Alyen from Medical.

"We've already run several away missions," he began, "but this cloud is big and there are still a few areas  
we haven't checked yet. So," he grinned, "the four of us are going to take the _Waverider _out for a 48 hour  
look see. We'll be maintaining one quarter impulse. I'll be piloting."

He turned to Kissi. "Ms. Kissi, you'll be running an ongoing sensor sweep."

The amber-eyed Yarole smiled and nodded, her thick blond curls bouncing from the movement.

Kirk turned to Nsay. "Ms. N'say you'll help to analyze and interpret the data. I've heard that you're good  
with mathematics so that should be fun."

The purple skinned Tonorin nodded, her antenna quivering eagerly.

Kirk then turned to the Nlian. "And Mr. Alyen, you'll be checking for signs of life and, in the event that  
we run into any trouble, patching up our sorry hides."

Alyen nodded solemnly.

"You'll have the rest of the evening to familiarize yourselves with the mission. Shuttlebay 1. 0600 hours."


	22. Departure

_1/8/2259_  
_Alyen and L'Naym's Quarters_

"Don't worry, Beloved," L'Naym said softly as she helped her lifemate with his flight suit. "You'll be back  
before you know it."

"I know," Alyen responed.

"This is what we both dreamed of all our lives. What we spent a year training for."

"I know."

"You'll be studying that beautiful cloud up close. Think of how incredible that will be. You'll be so caught  
up in the excitement of exploration that you won't have time to miss me."

Abruptly Alyen embraced his lifemate tightly. "Beloved, I miss you when you're gone from my side only  
for a moment."

She returned his embrace. "And I you, Beloved", she whispered back. "And I you."  
_

_Shuttlebay_

"The _Waverider_ is fueled and flight ready Captain," Filars informed. "Enjoy your excursion."

Kirk nodded. "Thank you Commander. Is my crew ready?"

"Kissi and N'say are already on board." She looked over his shoulder. "And I think I see your third  
crewmember coming now."

Kirk turned and saw the two Nlians slowly approaching, hand in hand. Kirk gave the young medic an  
encouraging smile. "Well, Crewman. Ready to take a close look at that cloud?"

Alyen nodded. "Yes, Captain." He managed a tiny attempt at a smile. "I _am_ excited about it. This will  
be my very first away-mission."

But from their lingering looks and tightly clutched hands, Kirk could tell right away that the couple were  
finding this parting to be difficult.

L'Naym stepped up to her lifemate and embraced him tightly. He held her close and nuzzled her cheek.  
"Hurry back to me, Beloved," she whispered. "This ship will be very lonely for me with you not on it."

"As my life will have little joy when you're not sharing it with me," he whispered back.

He stepped back, gave her a half-smile and a nod, then turned to board the shuttle.

L'Naym watched him go then met Kirk's eyes. "Take care of my lifemate, Captain," she said without a trace  
of her normal cheerfulness.

Kirk nodded solemnly. "Your lives I will defend," he said simply.

She nodded back. "And what you ask we will give." Without another word she turned and walked away.

Filars gave Kirk a questioning look. "What was that about, Captain?"

"I'll explain when we get back."


	23. Away Mission

_Waverider Shuttle _

"I'm going to one quarter impulse," Kirk said as he worked the controls.

"Should I start the sensor sweep now, Captain?" Kissi asked, pointed ears perked up with excitement.  
She had been the most enthusiastic member of the away team from the start and had mentioned that  
she thought of sensor sweeps as a hunt for treasure.

Kirk gave her a grin. "Go ahead and start digging, Crewman. We want to go home with a treasure chest  
full of data."

The Yarole nodded eagerly as she set to work, giving a low purr of satisfaction.

_Anybody for lunch?_ Alyen called over the intercom.

"Are you volunteering to be the waiter, Mr. Alyen?" Kirk asked.

_Yes, sir._

"I'll help. I should stretch my legs a bit." He turned to Kissi. "What would you like, Ms. Kissi?"

"I'll have some Ormel Pasta," she responded even as her hands moved busily over the controls at her station.

Kirk turned to his other crewman. "And what would you like, Ms. Nsay?"

"I require very little food, Captain," the Tonorin responded, eyes still glued to her station. During the hours  
they'd spent traveling Kirk had come to learn that she was not only good with mathematics, she _lived_ for it.  
"A cup of Klinto tea will suffice."

"One plate of Ormel pasta and one cup of Klinto tea, coming right up."

Kirk got up and made his way to the large aft section of the _Waverider_. He found Alyen standing beside  
the food replicator, punching some controls.

"Crewman?"

"Captain," Alyen replied, able to tell from the captain's quiet voice that he wanted to talk about something  
other than lunch.

"How are you holding up? You've been quiet since we left."

From the time the _Waverider_ had set out the young Nlian had diligently worked at his post, but Kirk had  
been able to tell from his quiet demeanor that he had a lot on his mind. And while the rest of the away  
team had chattered among themselves he had remained quiet.

"I'm alright, sir."

"Are you sure?" Kirk pressed. The events of last year had trained him well in noticing if someone was upset.  
And especially of the importance of listening to them if they were.

Alyen sighed. "You probably think I'm spoiled since we're only going to be away for two days. But this is  
the first time that Shylea and I have been apart since we lifemated."

He gave the captain a rueful look."You'd think that it wouldn't bother us, we both grew up on separate  
continents; me in the Northern Land and she in the South. Even when we realized that we were each  
other's other half we continued to live apart for two more years until we underwent the Rite of Adulthood.  
We spent most of our lives apart."

"It's different once you're married," Kirk said quietly.

"I know. After we lifemated we enlisted in the Starfleet Training Program right away. All during the year  
we trained we trained together. We took different courses but we saw each other every night."

He sighed again. "I suppose we should consider this training. At the Academy we talked to many officers who  
were lifemated. They all said the same thing: it's common for Starfleet couples to be separated. There's no  
guarantee they'll be assigned to the same ship or even be in the same quadrant. And even those who _are_  
in the same location are regularly sent on different assignments, sometimes for weeks or months.

"Nlian lifemates are given special consideration because they're telepathically joined; Starfleet takes special  
pains to make sure they're assigned together. But even they endure separations. There's a couple that we  
met who are assigned to Spacedock. One of them works at docking control and the other is part of a repair  
team that works on different installations throughout the system. Even though they're both assigned to the  
same Starbase, they're often apart. And I'm upset over two days. Foolish isn't it?"

"Not at all, Crewman," Kirk said quietly. "It's always rough the first time a couple's separated. And you said  
it yourself; you're both telepathically bonded. Of course it would be a little harder for you at first. But it'll get  
easier."

He gave a slight grin. "In the meantime, if you get too homesick there's always the escape pod."

Alyen gave a slight chuckle, "Don't worry, Captain. It won't come to that."

"I hope not, Crewman," Kirk said seriously. "Because this mini-crew is counting on their medic to be here in  
case we run into trouble."

"You can count on me, sir," Alyen said just as seriously.

Kirk's smile returned. "I know."

He was about to say something else when Kissi's voice came over the intercom.

_Captain! You need to get back up here!_


	24. Discovery

_1/9/2259_  
_Waverider Shuttle_

"I know you told your lifemate that without her your life had little joy," Kirk said softly to Alyen.  
"But I hope you can find room for a little awe."

The two of them had hurried back to the front of the _Waverider_ to find Kissi excitedly pointing out  
unusual energy readings. Upon returning to his station, Alyen had detected bio-energy readings.  
Something was rapidly approaching them. Something very small but alive.

Within minutes a swarm of dozens of tiny sparkling purple lights was streaming by the _Waverider_.  
Each one similarly shaped to a starfish and no more than a few inches in diameter but sparkling  
with light and energy.

Cautiously they had followed the swarm further into the cloud where they had discovered thousands  
of the lifeforms. All of them swirling and dancing like fireflies in a meadow.

It was stunningly beautiful and all of them had stared wide eyed at the sight.

"Crewman," Kirk had murmured to Kissi, "I think we've just found one huge treasure chest."

She had swallowed and nodded, amber eyes as wide as saucers.

They had concluded that the lifeforms were cosmozoan; a tiny spaceborne species that spent their entire  
lives in the vacuum of space. The Hymer Gas Cloud was apparently their home. They had wondered why  
the _Saratoga's_ sensors hadn't picked them up and had discovered that the lifeforms emitted an electric  
signature that matched the cloud closely. One had to be very close to detect them.

"Commander Falno was right," Kirk murmured as N'say busily made adjustments to their sensors to better  
detect the lifeforms.

"Sir?" she inquired.

Kirk smiled. "This is what happens when you take a closer look."

"_This_ is why I joined Starfleet," he later commented as he looked over Alyen's readings. When the Nlian  
looked up at him in question he said, "It wasn't for interstellar politics. It wasn't to thwart plots or agendas.  
It wasn't to fight battles or crazy people from the future."

He looked out the window at the lifeforms. "It was for _this."_


	25. A Star to Steer Her By

1/18/2259  
_Saratoga Observation Lounge_

Captain Kirk sat in the Observation Lounge, staring out into the endless expanse of space. He'd quickly  
claimed this room as his favorite spot and would use any excuse to come here. It was a good place to  
relax, to think and put things in perspective.

It was definitely a good place to unwind after an exhausting session with his Chief Helmsman. Akari,  
he'd discovered, had deep pride in his Samurai heritage and was a master of the katana that had been  
passed down through his family for generations. An easy camaraderie had formed between them and Kirk  
had asked him to teach him how to spar. He was grateful that his Helmsman had a seemingly limitless  
supply of patience.

"Captain,"

Kirk looked up from his musings to see Alyen standing in the doorway. He gave him a friendly smile  
and beckoned him. "Alyen. Come on over and take a load off. I haven't seen you since we got back  
from our little excursion."

Alyen gave one of his shy smiles as he sat down. "I know. Things have been very hectic."

"That's for sure."

After the _Waverider_ had discovered what Kirk had dubbed the Hymer Fireflies, they'd hurried back to  
the _Saratoga_ with their data. What had originally been intended as a week-long survey had been rapidly  
extended into another two week study of the lifeforms. Kirk had been caught up in the excitement too  
and it had only been at the instance of his mother hens, Bones and Filars, that he'd started to take some  
time off.

"I've been _hearing_ a lot about you, though," Alyen continued with a grin. "Doctor McCoy's been  
complaining, very loudly at times. He says that that all you've been doing lately, even when you're off  
duty, is work."

Kirk snickered. "Bones is always getting in a knot about something."

"_Have_ you been taking any time off," Alyen asked wryly. "It won't do this crew much good to have  
an overworked, captain."

"Don't you start on me too!" Kirk chided. "Don't worry I'm taking some breaks and I've been hitting  
the gym more. Lieutenant Akari is teaching me some sword moves."

"_That's_ supposed to be relaxing?"

"Different people different tastes, Crewman," Kirk said with a sly grin.

"Captain," Alyen continued, "the reason I wanted to see you was..." He paused, "I wanted to thank you.  
Thank you for taking me on that Away Mission. I missed Shylea, of course, but it was...incredible being  
out there."

Kirk nodded.

Alyen continued. "And thank you...for listening."

Kirk nodded again, all seriousness now. "Do you remember what Shylea said a few days ago when we were  
all talking about leadership? She said that people gave chieftains their Pledges because they understood their  
chieftain's burdens and would do whatever they could to make them lighter."

He leaned forward and looked into Alyen's eyes. "Well it's a two way street, Crewman. A chieftain, or a captain,  
needs to do whatever he can to make his crews' burdens lighter.

"And besides," he frowned, "I've learned the hard way how important it is to listen to someone who's hurting.  
A lot of damage can be caused if you don't."

"Like what happened to you on the_ Enterprise_." The Nlian flinched and lowered his eyes. "I..I'm sorry, Captain,  
I didn't…"

"Don't apologize," Kirk responded calmly. "And you're right, _exactly _like whathappened to me on the _Enterprise." _

He softened. "You don't need to be afraid to speak your mind around me, Tuskaro. I don't need people to walk  
on egg shells around me and I don't need a crew of 'yes' men.' His smile returned. "I need a crew who will speak  
their minds and keep me on my toes."

"I don't know if I'll be much good at keeping you on your toes, Captain." Alyen's voice was quiet but earnest.  
"But if you ever need to talk to someone or just want a good meal, Shylea and I are here."

Kirk's smile grew wider. "I just might take you up on that, Crewman."

The two of them sat together for awhile in companionable silence, simply gazing at the stellar view.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Kirk said quietly.

"Yes," The Nlian was silent for a moment before continuing. "Out here one realizes just how small they are."

"Well, I'm feeling very small right now."

"That's good. Shylea's grandmother once said that a chieftain must always be aware of how much vaster  
the desert is than him."

"Is that along the lines of its better to be wise than cunning?" Kirk said with a grin.

"Yes. In order to be wise one has to have humility. One has to realize that there are things bigger than them.  
And for someone who's responsible for the lives of others, that's even more important."

Kirk nodded thoughtfully.

"I've always loved the stars," Alyen continued. "When I was a child I would think of space as an ocean  
and would imagine swimming among them."

Kirk smiled "And now you're on a ship sailing among them. Just like me." He was silent for several more  
moments before he said softly. "All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by."


	26. A Call from Home

1/21/2259  
_Saratoga Bridge_

The bridge, indeed the entire ship, hummed with activity. Today the _Saratoga _would be leaving  
the Hymer Cloud and heading to its next assignment and everyone was busy with last minute  
preparations.

Stellar Sciences, in particular Commander Falno, was sad to leave the beautiful cloud they'd spent  
nearly three weeks studying, but their next assignment was an extended planetary research mission  
and many were looking forward to, as one crewman had said, "Breathing fresh air and having a real  
sky over our heads.'

Kirk was standing besides Thelin going over data when his Chief of Communications alerted him.

"Captain," M'Ress said, "We are receiving a transmission from Starfleet headquarters. A video message  
from Admiral Pike. He's requesting a private channel."

"Patch it through to my Ready Room," Kirk replied as he headed for the entry way.

"Admiral Pike." Kirk smiled broadly at the older man.

"Captain Kirk," Pike replied in acknowledgment. "It's good to see you. How have you been?"

"We've as been as busy as bees out here. And we've seen some interesting things."

"I know. You've gotten a lot of scientists back home interested in that new lifeform you discovered.  
But, Jim…" Pike leaned forward his expression serious. "How are_ you_ doing?"

Kirk took a breath, "Things are getting better, Chris." He spent the next several minutes telling  
the Admiral about his ship, his crew and how he had made meaningful bonds with several of them.  
"Things are definitely getting better," he finished softly.

"I'm glad to hear that, Jim," Pike said just as softly. Then he sighed. "Checking up on you wasn't  
the only reason that I called. Starfleet has a mission that they'd like you to consider. But it's up to  
you if you want to go. I would have asked you sooner but I wanted to see how you were handling  
being back out first."

"What kind of mission?" Kirk asked.

"A diplomatic one. The, anniversary, for lack of a better word, of the destruction of Vulcan is in a  
couple of weeks. The Vulcans will be holding a memorial service and they specifically requested  
your presence, in honor of your heroics."

Kirk was silent. He knew what Pike wasn't saying. For an important event like this, there would be  
several dignitaries and representatives. And who better to represent the Federation than the Flagship?

The _U.S.S Enterprise_.

Kirk struggled to contain his shudder. Wounds didn't need to be physical to be devastating and the  
agony from his old wound swept through him afresh.

As fresh as it had been during that fateful night when it had first been inflicted.

As fresh as it had been during the hellish aftermath when the ones who should have helped ease  
it had instead made it worse.

If he were to see the _Enterprise_ or its crew again...

But he was a Starfleet Captain and he knew his responsibilities.

He took a deep breath. "This is an important event, Chris. Of course I'll be attending."

"Then that means that the _Enterprise_ won't be," Pike said firmly.

When Kirk looked up in surprise, Pike continued "If you had decided not to go then the _Enterprise  
_would have represented the Federation. But since you are going that honor will fall to the _Saratoga."_


	27. Concert

1/21/2259  
_Mess Hall_

_Delphis_ class Mess Halls had many functions. In addition to serving as dining room and lounge for  
the crew they were also used for gatherings, receptions or, as was the case this particular evening,  
for holding a concert.

Kirk sat beside Bones in the _Saratoga's_ mess. One of the last things he'd needed to do before the end  
of his shift was oversee their departure from the Hymer Cloud. Now their small ship was warping toward  
its next assignment and would arrive in 48 hours. He planned to spend the time until then unwinding.

Although his body was still, his mind was anything but. His thoughts kept returning to what could have  
been a near encounter with the _Enterprise._ Although he hoped fervently never to see his former ship or  
its crew again, deep down he knew that despite all efforts, it might only be a matter of time before he  
crossed paths with them again.

Just the _thought_ of that sent spikes through him.

He tried to shove thoughts of the future aside and focus on the here and now. Filars had told him that  
the_ Saratoga_ had regular social events for the crew. He planned, schedule permitting, to attend every  
one of them. And he was NOT going to let memories of the _Enterprise_ ruin his first!

He looked around the Mess Hall and took in the many faces. Already he recognized several of them.  
Before he had reveled in being in command of a vessel with a crew of over 1100. But he'd discovered  
that less could definitely be more. With a smaller crew he had a chance to learn every face and know  
every name. He was determined to not only to _know about_ his crew, but to _know_ each of them as well.

_If you're going to be in deep space its better to be surrounded by friends than strangers._

_Like the Enterprise crew turned out to be._

The first performance was a guitar solo from Crewman Shannon Rivers from Communications. From  
what Kirk had heard she enjoyed life and had a quirky sense of humor.

_Maybe I'll hang out with her whenever I need a laugh._

As she played he found himself thinking of his old home, Riverside. He had often visited the Shipyard Bar  
and there had always been bands playing. In fact there had been quite a few renditions in electric guitar  
his last night there.

_The night that I met Uhura and got an epic beating from several cadets, led by Hendorff_. _Not the last time  
I'd get beaten down by someone from the Enterprise_.

Next up was Crewman Q'Pol from Engineering. As the Algolian played a long rendition on chimes, Kirk  
thought over what he knew of him. From what he'd heard he did things slowly and carefully but at the  
same time was very innovative. He was good with computer programming and the one most frequently  
in charge of the Transporter.

_Well, since our next mission will be planet based, I'll guess I'll soon get the chance to see him in action.  
His music's pretty soothing too_. _Maybe I'll listen to him play the next time I get stressed from thinking  
about the past_.

Third up was Teva Pelen; Lieutenant Junior grade and, aside from Thelin, the only other Andorian on board.  
Her family had been members of the Andorian Imperial Guard for generations but she had chosen a career  
in Starfleet instead. She was a perfect fit for Security but due to her tactical skills was considering switching  
to Command.

She was passionate and aggressive, but at the same time had a cunning sense of humor. Kirk had often  
seen her in the gym and learned that she was fiercely competitive and considered exercise combat training.  
She greatly admired Hatcher and Akari, with whom she often sparred, had a strong sense of honor and was  
fiercely loyal.

_Unlike some I could mention._

As she began to play her Andorian_ flabbjellah_, which was a combination musical instrument and weapon,  
Kirk was reminded that in addition to warrior skills, Andorians also excelled in the arts.

He'd been surprised, at first, to learn she would be performing; Andorians were a serious, hardworking  
people and had a strong cultural taboo against frivolity or any activity that might be a waste of time.  
Because of that they tended to avoid most social and recreational gatherings. Thelin, he'd learned, enjoyed  
pool not so much for the fun but because it developed strategy and hand eye coordination.

_But then again maybe she just enjoys being with the crew. This is friendly ship._

Next up were Alyen and L'Naym. Alyen played a lively tune on his pipe while L'Naym sang in her lovely voice.

_A friendly ship with people who are truly friends._

The final performers were Petty Officer Sean Edwards from Engineering and 15 year old Natahsa Holster.

Edwards was another of the _Saratoga's_ 'Elders': having served on her since she was built, and with Martell  
on the _Tripoli_ before that. At 90 years he was still fit and spry and a skilled technician. He was also a brilliant  
musician with both the violin and alto recorder. For centuries his native Wales had been referred to as  
the 'Land of Song' and he had carried on that tradition.

He was longtime mentor to Natasha, daughter of Petty Officer Tamika Holster from Security. Kirk couldn't  
help but smile as he recalled meeting her; a tall muscular woman of both Puerto Rican/African American  
descent. She was boisterous and charismatic with a strong sense of mischief.

Her daughter was the polar opposite; shy, modest and self effecting. But she lived for music in any and all  
forms and according to all who knew her had a tremendous gift. And from what he'd gathered from her shy  
glances and blushes every time she saw him, she'd developed a huge crush on him as well.

The two of them performed a duet of the Welsh song "The Ash Grove": Edwards on the fiddle and Natasha  
on the flute. Kirk found himself humming internally.

_I've never been interested in classical or folk music before. But this ship has already __taught me a lot._

As the final notes faded and everyone stood to clap, Bones leaned over to him. "Not bad. But if anyone ever  
tries to hold a performance in my medbay there'll be hell to pay."

"As far as I'm concerned, Bones, this crew can 'perform' anywhere they like," Kirk said quietly. "Because every  
performance they've given so far has been great."


	28. Mychar

_Captain's Log_  
_2259.1.23_

_The Saratoga has arrived at Mychar, a Class M planet that orbits an A-Type blue star.  
__The first time I saw it I thought it should have been called Planet Red; not because it's  
__anything like Mars, but because, in contrast to Earth, all of the plantlife here is red. _

_The Saratoga will be joining a team of several scientists __who've already been here for  
a couple of weeks. Our job will __be to assist them in cataloging and studying any and  
everything of interest about __this planet._

_ I find myself looking forward to it._

_James. T. Kirk_

* * *

_Red._

Once again that was the impression that Kirk got as he and Thelin beamed down. Miles of red stretching  
for miles in every direction, broken here and there by rocky outcroppings and by the small dwellings that  
the research team had constructed.

"Captain Kirk!" Dr. Eileen McAllister, the commander of the team strode up. "You're late. We were expecting  
you two weeks ago."

He grinned. "We got a bit tied up at the Hymer Cloud."

She smiled. "I know. We've heard quite a bit of talk about that lifeform you discovered. Well, don't worry,  
there are plenty of other discoveries to make. We've got a whole new world to study."

She led them further into the encampment and showed them the maps that her team had put together so far.

Most of the planet was covered with open plains of plants that resembled sea anemones and ranged from  
a foot to several meters high. Near the coasts were several rocky outcroppings and mesas. At the equator  
were scattered forests.

McAllister's team planned to spend six months on the planet, probably more, and had set up a base  
camp near the northern coast. They were periodically supplied by the _U.S.S. Shawmut _which was  
currently patrolling the sector. They were beginning their studies close to camp and planned to range  
further afield each week. The _Saratoga_ would be assisting them for a month.

_A month_ Kirk thought. _There was a time when I was usually somewhere different each week.  
Discover the place, take a quick look around for a day or so and then leave. Now I'm doing some  
_real_ work._

He smiled internally_. If nothing else a break from the black will make Bones happy._


	29. Ready to Go

1/23/2259  
_Saratoga Botany Labs_

"You're awfully fidgety," Lieutenant Sarah Richards noted with amusement.

L'Naym looked up, eyes bright. She had been in a state of near jubilation from the moment she'd been told  
that she would be a member of one of the teams that the _Saratoga_ was sending to the surface. After the briefing  
she had practically run back to the labs to begin sorting and packing the equipment she would need.

"Nervous?" the _Saratoga's_ plant ecologist asked. "If you are don't worry. There's going to be several people  
in our team." She nodded toward the security officer with them. "And if anything goes wrong we'll have Lorn  
here to protect us."

Lieutenant Mothaya Lorn gave a brusque nod. "And I take my duties very seriously."

L'Naym nodded. "I know." From what she had heard, the Draylaxian was confident, determined and had  
a fiercely protective streak.

"It's not that I'm worried," she went on. "It's just that…this is going to be the second world I've visited. When  
Tuskaro and I came to Earth it was the first time we'd left our home. During our training we were so focused  
on our studies that we hardly left the Academy grounds. This will be the first time that…"

"That you're really going to explore an alien world." Richards nodded with understanding. "No wonder you're  
so excited."

"_An__d_ nervous," L'Naym admitted. "I want to do well."

Richards gave her a reassuring smile. "You'll do fine." She leaned closer. "I'll let you in on a secret, Shylea;  
I'm excited too. There's nothing like seeing a new planet for the first time."

L'Naym gave a merry chuckle. "And don't forget all of the new plantlife that we'll see!"

Richards laughed as well. "That too." Her love of nature equaled L'Naym's and the two women had struck up  
a firm friendship.

As she resumed collecting and rechecking her equipment, L'Naym silently reviewed the details of the mission  
briefing and the plans presented.

Every day McAllister's group and the _Saratoga_ would send out five combined teams made up of both scientists  
and security. Some would go by foot, others would take ground transports or shuttles. Each would head in a  
different direction and focus on a different area.

Today Captain Kirk and Commander Thelin would be part of a shuttle team that would be running surveys of the  
planet's atmosphere. (And if she knew anything about the captain it would also be making one or more broad  
sweeps of the whole planet.)

A team of geologists would be taking a shuttle to the northern mesas. A team of oceanographers and marine  
biologists would be heading for the coast. A team of zoologists and naturalists would be taking a ground transport  
westward where herds of grazing animals had been seen.

L'Naym smiled in anticipation. She would be part of the fifth team: a group of botanists and ecologists that would  
make its way south on foot, collecting and cataloging plant-life.

Her lifemate would also be going to the surface, although he would be staying at the base camp. He would be  
working with Dr. McCoy, whose task was to go over the biomedical data that McAllister's group had put together  
and be ready to head out in case any of the teams ran into trouble.

L'Naym chuckled internally. From what she'd heard about the doctor she was certain that remaining at camp  
and going over data was exactly the sort of away mission he preferred.


	30. Bad News

**Author's Note  
**To all of my followers.  
Sorry for the delay between chapters. I'm posting as fast as I'm able but a lot's going on in my life now.  
I'm living with someone with Alzheimer's, my dad being sick for 2 weeks and had to go to the hospital,  
plus he's making plans to sell the house. And on top of that I'm going out of town for the weekend and  
travel is always stressful.

With all of that my muse is pretty fried. I have an outline and I know what I want to convey but I'm having  
trouble getting it on paper. And I've always seemed better at writing drabbles then stories. So if a chapter's  
short its because that's the best I can do right now.

* * *

_1/26/259_  
_Saratoga Waverider_

Kirk carefully piloted the _Waverider_. Today the teams were doing various studies of the planet's  
weather and it had been decided they would conduct them in each atmospheric layer. Kirk had  
jokingly called it the Layer Net.

At the lowest level, McAllister had sent two shuttles to monitor a large storm that had developed  
over one of the oceans and would also be doing sweeps of the upper troposphere.

Thelin and Lieutenant Ktar, the _Saratoga's_ authority on atmospheric sciences, were at the highest level.  
They had taken the _High Tide_ and were running sweeps in the planet's thermosphere and exosphere.

_And I get to be the Middleman_. Kirk thought with amusement. He had taken the _Waverider_ and was  
now flying through the mesosphere, stratosphere and troposhoere. Lieutenant Melanie Winters from  
Engineering was running sensor sweeps. With them were two of the _Saratoga's_ civilian scientists;  
Meteorologist Danielle Matthews and Hydro-meteorolist, Nomar Tur.

Matthews was married to Personnel officer Lieutenant Commander Gregory Matthews. She was a  
confident and slightly temperamental woman who never shied away from an argument.

As for Tur; Kirk couldn't help but smile, anyone who was around the 2 ft. 6 inch Onavian for more  
than a few minutes would learn two very important things about him. Number 1, he had a sharp eye  
for the slightest detail. Number two, he was very vain and imperious and wouldn't hesitate to peck  
anyone who tried to touch his tail feathers!

They even had a guest with them today, Matthews' daughter, Elizabeth. The 12 year old loved any  
and everything to do with flying and was either looking out the windows at the view or coming to  
the cockpit to watch them work, although she never touched anything and remained quiet.

_I wouldn't have expected to have a kid with me while I was working_, Kirk thought. _Some changes  
are for the better._

He was jerked from his reverie by the sudden beeping on his comm. He frowned when he saw that  
it was from McCoy.

_Jim, you've got to get back to camp now. One of the teams was attacked._


	31. Aftermath

_1/26/2259_  
_Mychar Research Camp_

"You think that I was too hard on him, Captain?" Hatcher's voice was calm and measured.

Kirk had arrived back at the research camp to find a grim McCoy and a solemn Alyen tending to  
Crewman Andr, the _Saratoga's_ ornithologist. He had then been briefed on what had happened.

The large zoological team had followed a herd of grazing animals into a wooded area near a river.  
They had then split up into smaller groups and pairs. Since there was still a lot they didn't know  
about the planet, each of the groups had been instructed to remain within sight of each other at  
all times and those in Security knew that they were to be especially vigilant.

One of the pairs had been Andr, accompanied by Ensign Eric Keller of Security. Andr had spotted a  
brightly plumed avian and followed it. This had eventually led them out of sight of the others. Keller  
had noticed this but, adventurous and a bit overconfident, hadn't said anything.

They had followed the avian to its nest and Andr had been imaging it when, out of nowhere, a large  
felinoid predator had attacked. Andr had been knocked down and gotten some bad gashes on her arm  
and back. Keller had frantically fired his phaser at the cat but had missed. It had been about to leap  
at him when Petty Officer Oak had rushed up and shot it. He had noticed that the pair were out of sight  
of the group and, accompanied by Lieutenant Harrison from Command, had headed off to search  
for them.

After learning what happened, Kirk had found the young security officer standing in front of Lieutenant  
Commander Hatcher while the rest of the _Saratoga_ team silently watched from the sidelines. The Chief  
of Security's gaze would have paralyzed a Vulcan and the harsh words she leveled at Keller would have  
shredded steel. Kirk could practically see the blood flowing.

Later Hatcher had dismissed the visibly wilted crewman back to the ship after coldly informing him that  
he would have a permanent mark on his record and would not be allowed on any away missions for the  
next six months. She had also informed him that there would be increased security drills for the next  
3 months and he could expect to be run ragged.

Now Kirk quietly spoke with his Security Chief, not really sure how to react. There was no question that  
Keller had screwed up. But to shame him like that in front of everyone...

"I'm hard on mistakes because mistakes can be very costly," Hatcher said calmly. "You've read my  
background. You know why my face looks like this."

"Yes," Kirk said quietly.

"What you may not know is that it was not only due to a raid, but a mistake. The settlers on my planet  
had been aware of the possibility of raids. To protect against that they established parameter guards to  
alert settlements of danger. But the night that my area was attacked, the man on duty had been drinking."

Kirk's eyes widened.

Hatcher continued. "When the raiders came, he was passed out drunk. Because of that four homesteads  
had no warning. Nine people were killed, including my parents and my brother. And an 11 year old girl  
was captured. You were raped for _one night_, Captain. I was beaten and raped _every_ night for _two years_."

"That guard didn't mean any harm- he made a mistake. But that mistake was very costly. He did something  
careless and stupid and nine people died and a child went through a living hell as a result. The crew of your  
former ship acted out of ignorance and you suffered as a result. Even your First Officer, a Vulcan priding  
himself for his logic and intellect- even _he_ failed you through a toxic combination of ignorance and stupidity.  
Keller acted carelessly and a crewman was injured and could have been killed as a result.

Hatcher's gaze was piercing. "Carelessness, ignorance and stupidity, Captain. The only thing worse than  
them is deliberate malice. And heaven only knows which does the most damage."

She paused "Years ago I swore that I would do everything in my power to keep what happened to me from  
happening to others." Her gaze hardened. "And I've also sworn that anyone on this ship, regardless of their  
department, who through neglect or foolishness gambles with the life of another crewman, will be treated  
as harshly as if they'd lost the wager."


	32. A Brief Parting

_Captain's Log  
2259.____1.30_

_Today the Saratoga is briefly leaving Mychar to attend Memorial Services on New Vulcan._  
_We'll be back in a week and in the meantime we're leaving behind 20 crew members to _  
_assist in the continued study of the planet. _

_There is a telling difference between the Saratoga and my former command. On my last ship _  
_20 absent crewmembers wouldn't even have been noticed. But on the Saratoga every missing_  
_face is felt keenly. _

_Especially by me. I know that I'm being foolish; it's routine to drop off crewman on other  
assignments. This planet has no hostiles, its well within Federation territory, the teams are well  
supplied and armed and if anything were to go wrong they could contact the U.S.S. Shawmut  
for help._

_But maybe I've grown more protective of the people under my command. They're **my** crewmates. _  
_And if anything were to happen to them…_

_I guess my worrying means I'm a halfway decent captain._

_James T. Kirk  
_

"Sure you have everything, Commander?" Kirk had made it a point to give a personal send off  
to each crewmember who would be staying behind.

Ricardo Belzoni, the _Saratoga's_ resident biochemist nodded. "_Si,_ Captain. I'm looking forward to  
studying the planet's forests. The potential medicinal discoveries from the fungi alone -"

"Eager to go on another safari, Lieutenant?"

Zoologist Gloria Michaels nodded eagerly. "You know it, Captain."

"Eager to get started, Doctor Nelena?"

The elderly Rigelian nodded. "A new planet is a paradise for a geneticist, Captain."

"Be a little bit more careful from now on. OK, Crewman?"

Andr nodded quietly. "Don't worry, Captain. I want no repeats of what happened."

"I guess you'll have to last a few days without Doctor McCoy's watchful eye. Nervous?"

"Very," Alyen answered. "Although I'm honored by the faith both of you have shown in me."  
A worried look came over him. "Its a big responsibility, though. I know I'm not going to be  
the only medical personnel here. But before I always knew that Doctor McCoy would be here  
too. Now..."

"You'll do fine," Kirk said reassuringly. "Bones wouldn't have recommended you stay if he  
didn't think you could handle it."

He looked toward L'Naym. "You take care of him OK, Shylea? I don't want the _Saratoga _to lose  
its new medic on the first time out."

She smiled. "I will consider that an order, Captain." Then she grew serious. "Be safe. We don't  
want the _Saratoga_ to lose its new captain on the first time out."

Alyen nodded solemnly. "Have a safe journey, Captain. And come back soon; you and the others  
will be missed while you're away."

Kirk nodded. "And all of you will be missed as well."

As he turned to leave he thought, _And I'll especially miss the two of you._


	33. New Vulcan

_Captain's Log_  
_Stardate 2259.2.2. _

_The Saratoga has arrived in orbit around New Vulcan and I am now preparing to beam down with __my  
senior staff. The first part of the service will comprise of a few speeches, including my own, and then  
will be the Ceremony of Mourning and Remembrance which will last for two days. Both of which will be  
broadcast throughout the Federation._

_For the past couple of days I've found myself to be increasingly pensive. On this day, one year ago, _  
_an event of unimaginable tragedy occurred._

_James T. Kirk._

The senior staff of the _Saratoga_ had gathered in the transporter room, clothed in their dress uniforms.  
M'Ress was chatting with Arex, and Tolliver was speaking quietly to his adopted son, Kevin, who would  
be accompanying them when Kirk strode in. Is everyone ready?" he asked.

"We've been waiting on you," McCoy said wryly.

Kirk, Thelin, McCoy and Filars stepped onto the transporter pad first. Kirk nodded to Q'Pol at the controls.  
"Energize."

The first thing Kirk realized about New Vulcan was that it was scorching hot. He could already feel sweat  
forming on his forehead.

"Are you going to be OK, Thelin?" he asked his First Officer as they waited for the rest of the crew.  
"I know this is a lot hotter than you're comfortable with."

"I'll be fine, Captain," the Andorian replied. "As long as I don't exert myself too much and hydrate regularly."

"Captain Kirk," said a familiar voice.

Kirk turned to see Ambassador Spock approaching. "Ambassador!" he said warmly, bowing his head slightly  
in greeting.

"It is good to see you again," the elderly Vulcan said with equal warmth. "Come, I will show you to your seats."

The ceremony was outside in a vast courtyard. Spock seated him in the first row, facing the podium.  
"You are aware of how events will proceed?"

"Yeah, I've been briefed," Kirk answered. "A few elders and High Council members will speak first, then I'll  
be announced and I'll go up and give my speech."

"Indeed," Spock replied. He glanced toward Thelin before continuing. "Rest assured that there will be plenty  
of water and other refreshments available for you and your crew." He gestured to the sides where several tables  
were set up with both glasses and vases full of water.

After nodding his thanks, Kirk took a seat. Bones sat beside him. "Nervous?" the doctor asked.

"A bit," he admitted.

"Don't worry, you'll do fine."

Kirk turned his focus to the podium where several Vulcan elders were sitting. After a few minutes the ceremony  
began with an opening speech from an elderly woman, a historian as it turned out.

Following the first speech, the Vulcan orchestra played some music. There was a time that Kirk would have  
thought it boring to tears, but after attending two _Saratoga_ concerts he had set himself the personal goal  
of trying to appreciate all forms of music. Now he found the music contemplative and sad. Fitting for the occasion.

A few more speeches were made, including one by Ambassador Spock. Then a Council member announced,  
"Today we have with us Starfleet Captain James Tiberius Kirk, who were instrumental in the defeat of Nero.  
Because of his efforts countless others were spared our fate and for that he has our lasting gratitude.  
Captain Kirk, please come forward that we may acknowledge you."

Kirk stood as the crowd applauded lightly. Stepping onto the podium he looked out over the crowd and began  
to speak. "I am grateful and deeply honored to be here on this day."

He continued his speech, expressing the regret of himself, his crew, and the Federation over the tragedy that had  
befallen the Vulcan people, but also hope for the future of New Vulcan. The crowd listened silently and every time  
he glanced at Bones and the rest of his crew they smiled encouragingly at him. Hatcher seldom smiled but even  
she gave him a nod.

"All of here lost friends and loved ones but we can best honor them by stepping into the future with hope. Thank you  
again for allowing me to be here today." Holding up his hand in the Vulcan salute he declared. "Live long and prosper."

As the crowd applauded he returned to his seat. McCoy, patted him on the back. "You did great, Jim."


	34. Silent Tears

_2/2/2259  
__New Vulcan  
Canyon of Remembrance_

Kirk stood solemnly with his crew. After the speeches had concluded the crowds had assembled at a  
massive canyon. Now, as he watched, many Vulcans softly chanted a song of mourning, farewell and  
remembrance. Others walked to the edge of the canyon bearing small glowlights which represented  
a person lost in the tragedy and, when released, would float slowly upwards until they dissipated.

He watched as Tolliver, accompanied by his adopted son, walked to the canyon edge and he recalled  
a conversation he had had with Filars.

_"Greg Barton. He was First Officer before Thelin and Chief Navigator. The things he could do with computers…_  
_He was transferred to the U.S.S. Antares two years ago. He and Tolliver's son, Kevin were good friends.  
When Kevin first came to the Saratoga it was Greg who really helped him to open up."_

Now he sadly watched as the 9 year old solemnly releasing a glowlight. _That kid's been through so much.  
First he loses __his birth parents and then a friend. But then too many people lost someone that day._

The _Enterprise_ had lost its former CMO, Doctor Puri, as well as several of its medical staff. Not that anyone  
had had time to grieve. They had been frantically tending to the wounded, then trying to figure out how to  
rescue Pike and stop Nero. Then when they finally had limped home there had been debriefings, reporters  
and talking to devastated family members.

Too many devastated family members. Too many lives ended. Too many dreams shattered. Nine ships  
had been lost at Vulcan. Over 6000 people. It was the worse disaster Starfleet had endured and _everyone_  
had been affected. _Everyone _had lost classmates, teachers, friends and associates. He thought briefly  
of Gaila, Uhura's roommate and his latest girl friend.

And then of course there was Vulcan itself.

6 billion people, nearly an entire species gone.

He could barely comprehend it. And as he listened to the chanting of the gathered Vulcans and watched  
countless glowlights silently ascending he felt something in him breaking.

_And it wasn't my planet that was destroyed_. He thought. _It wasn't my home that was lost. It wasn't my  
species that was nearly wiped out. As bad as I feel now, the Vulcans, __for all of their logic and control,  
for all of their claiming that they have no emotions, are feeling far worse._

He thought of Elder Spock. Who perhaps had the hardest burden of all.

_"As he was helpless to save his planet, I would be helpless to save mine. Billions of lives lost.  
Because of me, Jim. Because I failed."_

_I'm sorry Spock,_ he thought to himself. _I'm so sorry._

Kirk closed his eyes and allowed silent tears to fall. For Dr. Puri whom he had never met, but who had  
risen to become Chief Medical Officer of the Flagship. For Greg Barton, whom he had never met, but who  
had taken the time to befriend an orphaned child. For Gaila with her vivacious personality and bright smile.  
For so many of his classmates and teachers. For countless friends, and family members both Vulcan  
and otherwise.

He wept for the billions of lives lost. He wept because they were gone and because there would never  
be time enough between now and the end of the universe to fully mourn all of them.

And he especially wept for the surviving Vulcans who had to live with the pain of such an unfathomable loss.  
They wouldn't allow themselves the release of tears, so today he and others would cry for them.


End file.
